Nine Days Ago

I met Trevor 355 days ago in a mental institution, 

I felt numb. 

I discovered Trevor's scars 343 days ago in the mental institution,  

I felt sad. 

I kissed Trevor 341 days ago in the mental institution, 

I felt excited. 

I had my first late night talk with Trevor 332 days ago on a roof of the mental institution,  

I felt secure.  

I met Trevor's drunk mother 326 days ago in the mental institution visit room, 

I felt sorry. 

Trevor read me horror books to sleep 320 days ago in the mental institution,  

I felt surprisingly safe. 

I first slept next to Trevor 320 days ago in the mental institution, 

I felt safe too.  

I was getting better with Trevor 310 days ago in the mental institution, 

I felt different. 

I saw Trevor's mother again 289 days ago in a casket, 

I felt depressed. 

Trevor went bad again 288 days ago in the mental institution,  

I felt down. 

I talked to Trevor at 3 am for three hours 230 days ago, 

I felt okay. 

He felt okay. 

Trevor stopped self harming 194 days ago in the mental institution,  

I felt happy. 

I drove Trevor home with my brand new license 189 days ago in my dad's car, 

I felt overwhelmed. 

Trevor met my parents 188 days ago in my house,  

I felt proud.

Trevor and I swam in a lake 156 days ago twenty minutes from his house, 

I felt loved. 

I made out with Trevor 61 days ago in my kitchen,

I felt rebellious. 

I was only sixteen with Trevor 10 days ago, 

I felt accomplished.

Trevor overdosed 9 days ago in my bedroom, 

I refused to cry 8 days ago imagining Trevor under the cover of his casket, 

I refused to mourn 7 days ago when all were at Trevor's funeral, 

I blamed Trevor's lack of existence on me 6 days ago in my living room, 

I still haven't cried 5 days ago over Trevor in his house, 

I dreamt of Trevor 2 days ago, I helped him with hiding his scars in the mental institution, 

I again dreamt of Trevor 1 day ago, I was kissing him in the mental institution, 

I'm only feeling numb again.