Brickwalls

This is my favorite paradelle that I've ever written. Please critique.

She bites her lips as beginnings fade
She bites her lips as beginnings fade
Her open sea worships me
Her open sea worships me
She bites beginnings when lips fade
Her open worships sea me

Slip-sliding into brickwalls with his shivering
Slip-sliding into brickwalls with his shivering
His laments dying into my smoking anesthesia
His laments dying into my smoking anesthesia
Shivering with his slip-sliding into brickwalls
My smoking anesthesia dying in his laments

Down bears the cold hard look
Down bears the cold hard look
Insides unravel as I realize
Insides unravel as I realize
Cold down bears the look
Realize insides as I unravel

Cold hard sea bears down
Her worship dying into smoking laments
I realize beginnings as she fade
Me slip-sliding with his look
His bites unravel brickwalls
With my anesthesia shivering as lips open

Author's Note

This poem follows the exact form of a paradelle, which is a 4 stanza poem. The first three stanzas are composed of 6 lines. Lines 1 and 2 repeat one another, same with 3 and 4, and then line 5 is a mix-up of the first line that still follows the theme of the poem (same with line 6 for lines 3 and 4). The 4th stanza are 6 lines composed of all the words from the first 3 stanzas. It's not important for it to be grammatically correct as long as the paradelle's point gets across.

Reviews

[lorrainelobotomy]

this really doest make any sense at all.