Chaotic Peace

Happy as a cactus in a desert rain.

I've freed my heart and cleared my name.

My emotion box is out but it's not hard to find,

and now it's being electrified.

By the rain that's pouring out like the release of my mind.

 

The lines run together like five cats and one mouse,

but the mouse isn't cunning and he has no way out.

I'll tell you story to explain how I feel,

but don't be disappointed if you are the eel.

Cause you're slimy and shady.

I can't read your mind.

But that's ok.

You can't read mine.

 

We both like dancing but we're no the same breed.

Please don't arrest us for doing the deed.

Are we really that different? That different at all?

No but they think so, so that is the law.

 

I took a picture of your face and taped it to mine.

I hated it but you said it looked fine.

The dogs don't bark when you come around.

They're used to your scent.

They know that you're real.

I'm just so tired of being told how to feel.

 

We're so darn cute for a couple of freaks.

We built a house together and patched all the leaks.

I just wanted to tell you, thank you for sharing,

this cup of joe and the heart that I'm wearing.

Author's Note

Just a silly little something I wrote randomly. Not to be taken too seriously.

Reviews

[caesarkreshen]

I have a hard time getting into end-rhyme because of the way my mind works. I feel that it's impossible for me to wait until the end of a line to see what rhyme is coming up. Then I feel it cheapens it. It's not necessarily your fault because it's my odd obsession.

Regardless, I think by looking at this and a couple of your other writing pieces that you DO have a poetic voice. I really like that you just write. I think that a lot of people care way too much about choosing words and it negatively affects their writing. I wish I could force you to stop writing with rhyme for once. JUST TRY IT.

(I am) Happy as a cactus in a desert rain is a very cute start. I imagine a very smiling cactus. START OVER AND KEEP THAT LINE. Then just write. Let your mind create the rhymes as they come. I'm telling you, it will happen.

[Sujash I. Purna]

I'm going easy here. This is a nice work. You have that joyous scent in the lines and perhaps as a bit over-pessimistic writer I feel a hollowness everywhere and so it kinda singed me with jealousy how cheerful some verses can be! Yours is not exception here. Great work indeed!

Best lines:
I'll tell you story to explain how I feel,
but don't be disappointed if you are the eel

[Tai Ryens]

The meaning of this piece is nicely thought out, how peace could exist between opposites. The oxymoron made me grin slightly. Well done.