Silly

Silly

A Poem by lightourcity
"

Another Poem, not sure if it's anything like my other one, hope you like it

"

They say my dreams are silly.

impossible and strange.

they say not to get my hopes up.

But despite that I always do.

Why does no one believe in me?

I don't care.

I believe in myself.

They only tell me my dreams are silly for their own amusement.

They like to crush me.

I don't care.

I know they're bitter.

Their dreams never came true.

They could never believe in themselves.

No one ever believed in them.

People liked to crush them, for their own amusement.

I should feel bad for them.

But.

I don't care.

 


© 2010 lightourcity



Author's Note

lightourcity
I'm sorry if this is horribleee, i couldn't concentrate very well.

My Review

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Reviews

Strong opening and strong ending. The firs lines flowed more and captivated and then forced the reader to face the to-the-point facts you presented. The last lines with a few words provided perfect emphasis and closure to your feelings. It was alright and not horrible. Keep it up. Thanks for sharing.
gionelly*Kiss

Posted 7 Years Ago


good poem. i like how you convey the message. one little typo- 'I know their bitter'- i think you meant 'I know they're bitter'. :D otherwise, great work

Posted 7 Years Ago


Brilliant use of full stops at the end of each line. Forcing the pause and making you think more about every line. In a way it allows the poem to be seen in a more dreamlike sense, with flickers of things and images.
Thanks for sharing :)

Obscureness out

Posted 7 Years Ago


this is good. you seem have a good concept of what you want to write about.

sometimes after i've written a draft that i like but don't love yet, i put it to the side and read it again another day. if i haven't looked at it in a while, sometimes i can think of a phrase or two that can be added or reworded.

you may be surprised what new experiences can do for an older poem.

great job. keep it up

Posted 7 Years Ago



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Added on March 20, 2010
Last Updated on March 20, 2010
Tags: silly, unique, different, dream

Author

lightourcity
lightourcity

Uppsala, Sweden



About
Hi, i'm not very sure what to say. About Me sections are not my specialty. I guess if someone wants to know something they could ask me on forms spring? http://www.formspring.me/lightourcity I am n.. more..

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