A Poem by lightourcity

Another Poem, not sure if it's anything like my other one, hope you like it


They say my dreams are silly.

impossible and strange.

they say not to get my hopes up.

But despite that I always do.

Why does no one believe in me?

I don't care.

I believe in myself.

They only tell me my dreams are silly for their own amusement.

They like to crush me.

I don't care.

I know they're bitter.

Their dreams never came true.

They could never believe in themselves.

No one ever believed in them.

People liked to crush them, for their own amusement.

I should feel bad for them.


I don't care.


© 2010 lightourcity

Author's Note

I'm sorry if this is horribleee, i couldn't concentrate very well.

My Review

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Strong opening and strong ending. The firs lines flowed more and captivated and then forced the reader to face the to-the-point facts you presented. The last lines with a few words provided perfect emphasis and closure to your feelings. It was alright and not horrible. Keep it up. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago

good poem. i like how you convey the message. one little typo- 'I know their bitter'- i think you meant 'I know they're bitter'. :D otherwise, great work

Posted 8 Years Ago

Brilliant use of full stops at the end of each line. Forcing the pause and making you think more about every line. In a way it allows the poem to be seen in a more dreamlike sense, with flickers of things and images.
Thanks for sharing :)

Obscureness out

Posted 8 Years Ago

this is good. you seem have a good concept of what you want to write about.

sometimes after i've written a draft that i like but don't love yet, i put it to the side and read it again another day. if i haven't looked at it in a while, sometimes i can think of a phrase or two that can be added or reworded.

you may be surprised what new experiences can do for an older poem.

great job. keep it up

Posted 8 Years Ago

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4 Reviews
Added on March 20, 2010
Last Updated on March 20, 2010
Tags: silly, unique, different, dream



Uppsala, Sweden

Hi, i'm not very sure what to say. About Me sections are not my specialty. I guess if someone wants to know something they could ask me on forms spring? I am n.. more..

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