John

John

A Poem by Jessica Snider
"

This could be better written, but I have a hard time digging down and completely telling how I feel about this subject. My brother, however, is a huge reason that I seek peace like I do. It will do for now. I capitalized the Is to make everybody happy a

"

Peace was Bob Dylan.
War was Adolf Hitler.
Peace is the freedom to be who you are.
War is the media that hinders that.
Peace is the life i wish to live.
War is the life i've always know.
Peace is a wise man's lifetime goal.
War is a stupid man's easy answer.
Peace is what you know when you are born.
War is what the world takes from you.
Peace is the first sign of strength.
War is the last sign of pride and desperation.
Peace is what my brother seeked in going to Iraq.
War is what took his leg as a form of thanks.

© 2008 Jessica Snider


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Reviews

i really liked this poem. you are a good writer. i really liked the line war is a stupid man's easy answer. wish i had thought of that. Good job!

Posted 13 Years Ago


i can tell you have
i know much more to
say in this poem

emo is the subject
which boost the expression
the struggle between the two

i do feel the struggle
which you have
you must release



Posted 15 Years Ago


I liked the theme, but your brother going to Iraq, isn't really making peace. It's a war. There is no sense in fighting for peace. Fighting for peace is sorta like eating cake to lose weight. In the end, you don't really get what you thought you would, and something negative happens. If you eat so much cake, you will do the exact opposite of losing weight. If you fight for peace, you are going against what your standing up for. You can't act violently in order to bring peace. I am sorry about your brothers leg nonetheless. Capitalize the letter I in everything you do next time =] I read your profile, which said you were a perfectionist. If that was the case, where did all of the gramatical errors come from?? Nice theme, keep working!!
-Emily

Posted 15 Years Ago


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Ari
It's "sought", not "seeked", and I would highly suggest capitalizing your "I"s.

Other than that, the sentiment here comes through very strongly, and that is a sign of good poetry.

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on July 22, 2008
Last Updated on July 24, 2008

Author

Jessica Snider
Jessica Snider

dburggg., PA



About
i'm stubborn & a perfectionist. i can never quite say what i mean or mean what i say. maybe i'm hard to deal with, but maybe there's reasons for that. i've lived a million different lives and can n.. more..

Writing