Silent Goodbye

Letting go is hard...

   I watch my friend get into her car.
   My little sister doesn't understand why I'm so silent and serious and sad this time, why I'm not shouting and jumping and waving like I usually do. After all, this has happened many times before, for play-dates, for church, for meetings, for... well, everything me and Izzy do together when she leaves.
   But the other times, I knew that I would see her again the next day. This time was different.
   A few weeks ago, Izzy and her mother told me and Mother that they were moving, moving permanently across an entire ocean to a completely new and different country. She had said that they didn't eat our favorite sandwiches. They didn't have our fifty states. The didn't even speak English. The idea was horrifying to me. But she said it was true.
   She had said that she was leaving on August 26, the day after my ninth birthday, and was never coming back. Mother made me a calender to help me count down the days. She told me to enjoy every moment I had with her. She also told me not to feel worry or feel too sad, because we could still speak through the telephone.
   But of course, I didn't worry or feel sad at all. Not until this moment. Before today, I was as careless and playful as always. I almost even forgot that she was leaving today. But then she didn't hug me when she left. She wouldn't meet my eyes at all. It was like she wanted to forget me.
   The engine roars.
   I look into Izzy's window. It's rolled up, the blind down, but I could just make out her hazel eyes staring out. Not at me, but at the sky.
   I see her say something. Not to me, but as a prayer that she'll do well in her new home.
   I watch her reach out and touch the window. Not towards me, but to the one last white cloud I could see during this gloomy day.
   Maybe she does want to forget me.
   The car starts to go. I calmly but also desperately wave, the wind blowing my long brown hair while Izzy's short blond hair stays motionless. She finally stares at me, mouths goodbye to me, reaches out to me.
   Then her hand drops, her mouth closes, and she turns away from the window. She is giving me up, letting me go at the last moment. The friend I had always had since I was three is accepting that we are meant to be apart.
   The rain starts light, a steady yet uncertain rhythm. I let my hand fall, but my eyes follow Izzy's car until it disappears into the mist in the deep forest.
   I stand there for a long time after everyone else has gone back in. An empty feeling settles inside me.
   Izzy is no longer the friend that was always beside me, the one that I could always count on. She is now the stranger that has left me behind so that I could learn to start again. I'm hurt inside, but I know that her decision was right.
   To keep going, I will have to learn to do the same.

Reviews

[Donna]

That was very touching. I could feel the pain while reading. Nice writing!

[SpiceCookie]

Thank you!

[Hazel Euy]

Letting go from all your friends is super hard:(

[SpiceCookie]

I know, right? :( It's happened to both of us now.