Thoughts This Morning

This is a depressing one. Hopefully they will get more cheerful one day.

I've tried living for social media likes,

the way everyone else seems to.

I get next to no satisfaction from it.

A superficial like doesn't make up for:

Never having plans,

Never having anyone to lean on,

Never even having anyone to be there for.

The only "likes" that light up my life 

come from someone who doesn't know I exist,

and wouldn't care if he did know.

What a sad little situation I've got myself in.

No one really understands me.

I know that sounds like immature whining, but in my case,

it's true.

My intention is never, has never been to 

shut people out, 

but it seems like that's what I always do.

And I've dealt with so much the past two years 

that I'm a bigger mess than anyone I've ever known

would want to deal with.

I try to stay positive and keep hoping,

and throw myself into my work.

But work pays the bills.

It doesn't nourish the soul.

Maybe everyone thinks I'm fine,

that I've got it all figured out.

I know I make it seem that way.

I guess I just don't know what to do

anymore.

I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself.

Author's Note

All line/sentence breaks and structures are intentional.