The Glassmith pt 1

Her love was the waves. His, the dunes. Losing themselves in each had become life and livelihood for them both.

“How was the catch today?” Rihat asked.

“My back aches from carrying the net to the cart” Lilith smiled

“So a good day, then?”

“We’ve had better”. Lilith then grinned as she asked, “How was your catch?”

Rihat grinned back, “Grains of sand do not try and slip through my grasp as fish in a net. Only the wind helps them escape.” He trailed sand through his fingers as he said it. A light breeze carried the tiny grains of grit and rock into the air and out of sight.

“The sea obeys the wind as the sands do. Simply more violently”.

The two were on top of the dune. They called it their dune. It was one of four that formed a natural caldera. It was within easy distance of the city yet almost out of sight over the rolling sands. Habitually meeting there had made it so either of the two could easily traverse the stretch of desert between the city and this dune, blindfolded.

“Have you healed from your burn?” Lilith asked.

“It will heal when it’s ready. My master drives me hard. A single mishap can lead to such things”. Rihat unwound the bandage wrapped around his left thumb, exposing the flesh, still pink as the burn healed. “What of yours?”

Lilith held out her right hand. On the back of her hand, just before the wrist, there was a small hole where a chunk of her flesh had needed to be cut out. “It was my mistake and mine alone” she quickly spoke as Rihat looked concerned, “Baba always said to never cast your line against the wind, but the shoal was in plain sight and I grew impatient”.

“That is one of your flaws” Rihat smirked.

“An easier task would be counting the grains of sand in this desert than it would be to mention all of yours”, Lilith retorted with a smile. They sat, caressing each other’s hands. They were each covered in scars. Rihat’s callouses from burns long since healed. Lilith’s, a myriad of small cuts and bruises crisscrossed her palms and some of her fingers. They watched the desert as the sun began to set, the sky becoming alive with shades of orange and pink. As harsh and unforgiving as it was, the desert had its own beauty. From the swirls created by the drifting grains of sand, even to the scorpions and snakes, each leaving their own unique patterns in their wake as they moved. Rihat had come to love the desert. The two rose and made their way back towards the city, following the Euphrates back towards Ur.

The city was peaceful in the evening. The heat began to fade as the sky darkened and the moon appeared, casting ghostly reflections on the surface of the water. They bid each other goodbye before returning home. They knew they wouldn’t see each other for another two days. After a lingering hug, the two went their separate ways. Lilith to her father’s house, Rihat to the glassmith’s.

Sometimes days could go by without the two meeting. This could happen when Rihat would venture into the desert in search of finer grains of sand for the glass. Also when Lilith and her father would leave for longer fishing voyages as part of a larger group. It mattered little to them, for though they missed each other (whether they realised it or not) when they were apart, such feelings were instantly gratified upon their next reunion, whether atop their favourite sand dune, or in the city. Treasured memories the two shared and reminisced upon often were afternoons and twilights spent traipsing through the city, getting lost in the market and marvelling at curios and wares that were novel or interesting to them.

The next morning, Lilith and her father boarded their vessel and sailed towards the ocean. Rihat waited to wave goodbye, another of their traditions. Lilith’s boat was mid-sized, but compact enough to be crewed by two or three while still being able to bring in a good catch. Lilith made a habit of standing at the very prow, whenever they started a new voyage. Rihat knew this, and would always be there to wave goodbye.

There she went. Rihat smiled to himself and busily hustled towards the glassmith’s, raring for another day of work. It felt like it hadn’t been long since the Phoenicians had come with news of a novel concept; the melting of grains of sand in a furnace hot enough to render them molten. Rihat could remember that day in the market, when the Phoenician merchant had exalted his wares, inviting all and sundry to see and touch, and marvel in delight. Rihat had been one of the first to see it. He had touched a vase. It was smoother than clay, yet it sparkled with a brilliance to put any painter to shame. From that day, Rihat had coveted the substance, and the knowledge of how to craft it. Luckily, the man who would come to be his master had it, and a lot of it.

“Rihat! Come! Look at this!” Having been a merchant by trade, Khaled’s loud voice was something of a trademark. It was a running joke between the two that it was a marvel he hadn’t rendered all their wares to dust with his booming voice. Rihat hunched over next to his master. The workshop was large, but the majority of space was dominated by vases, glasses, chimes, anything and everything the richer inhabitants of Ur could want to adorn their houses with. The furnace was behind the shop, built well and built of brick, it had and would continue to serve them well. Khaled spoke in wonder,

“On the other side of the quicksand pit. You remember, the one from our last excursion, three days west of here.”

“Yes master I remember”

“By the grace of the Goddess I traversed it without harm, and found this” Khaled proudly poured a careful portion of sand onto the counter, as if conserving it. “Look at this! White as snow, fine as dust. No impurities to speak of. With this, we shall make glass that will resemble the tears of the Goddess herself.”

Rihat stared in awe. His master wasn’t lying. White with the slightest tinge of grey as oppose to the usual golden yellow, this sand also felt finer, little to no rocks or quartz somehow. It was akin to the sand on the beaches in Africa Khaled spoke of visiting. He would surely be able to make glass of the finest quality with this. The two went about their work as usual. Rihat pulled the rod slowly out of the furnace, turning it as he did, leaving the molten sand curled around it. Checking briefly, and after an approving nod from Khaled, who was busy at work preparing ornate moulds for later use, Rihat returned it into the red hot coals to resume the melting. Dusting his hands, he began preparing the moulds. A vase first for today. Rihat couldn’t wait to see the fruits of his labour.

 

“We have a good wind! If this stays we shall reach the fishing grounds within an hour!” Lilith’s father, Gashar yelled above the breeze. A crew of three today, Gashar and Lilith were accompanied by Minesh, another fisherman they regularly worked with. Lilith tied off the sail and returned to the prow, leaving the boat to crest the waves with the wind. She stood tall at the prow, the spray against her skin, the thundering crash of the waves in, the smell of sea salt filling her nostrils. She opened her mouth, feeling the acrid taste of salt on her tongue. Screwing up her face at the taste, she giggled to herself in a giddy daze. How she loved the ocean!

Time seemed to slip by unnoticed when Lilith was out in the waves. The sky, so clear when they'd set sail, suddenly began to change. It appeared on the horizon. No larger than a hand at first, the grey cloud seemed to have grown exponentially in what felt like a matter of moments until half he sky was grey-black. The boat was full of fish, weighing it down. Gashar cast a worried glance skyward and exchanged a nervous glance with Lilith. It was time to leave, though it was doubtful they could reach land before the storm arrived. The rumbling in the sky was already audible, yet still a ways away. Gashar and Minesh quickly turned the direction of the sail and made for land.

 

Rihat stepped backward and appraised his work. More cobalt next time. The colour was a pale aquamarine blue. It was beautiful, yet Rihat didn’t favour the hue. Khaled was in ecstasies, “Look! Hahaa, look! The quality is outstanding! You’ve outdone yourself today, Rihat. This will fetch a pretty price in the market next week.” Rihat nodded sheepishly in agreement. The quality was indeed exceptional. The curvature of the glass was subtle yet appealing, and the thickness consistent. Khaled continued rambling exuberantly, as he did when he smelled money, “Ohh yes. We need more, though! We must get more as soon as possible. We…” He stopped and looked outside. “Rihat, my boy. Try one more glass and then douse the furnace. A storm is brewing on the ocean. We must close up the shop so nothing breaks”. Rihat looked toward the sea. Khaled must have had very good eyesight. Rihat squinted for a moment to catch a sight of the dark clouds. He hoped Lilith was safe and had already returned. He would close the workshop and check in the town if the boat had returned.

Panic began flooding through Lilith. The storm had accelerated faster than any she’d ever seen. The boat was heavy with the day’s catch and listing slightly as it struggled to outrun the coming chaos. The waves roiled and undulated violently. Lilith was having difficulty keeping her footing on the slick deck. Suddenly, a wave washed over the deck. Gashar screamed something, but Lilith barely had time to collect her thoughts before her head struck the deck with a thud, and she was washed over the deck and overboard in a daze.

“Lili!” Gashar screamed. He yelled to Minesh, throwing him the other end of a rope. Tying the other end around his waist, Gashar lunged deep into the darkening waters to save his daughter from the waves.

Author's Note

Any feedback would be appreciated. Part 2 will be uploaded soon

Reviews

[Kathrin S]

You have a very promising beginning here. I think it could be really great and I am curious to read on. Here are my main notes and suggestions:

- Structure: I understand what you were trying to do by alternating between Lilith and Rihat, but maybe do a little less of it. As soon as we get an image of the situation in our head, you skip to the other part of the story. Stay with one person for a little longer and then afterwards switch to the other, so your readers have some time to adjust and really get into the story.

Language:
- You tend to repeat words a lot, especially at the beginning. The end of the chapter was stylistically much better than the beginning.
E.g.: in the first paragraph, the sentence 'Losing themselves ...': you repeat 'both' 3 times. Suggestion: "Losing themselves in both had become life and livelihood for the two."
Second paragraph: 'light breeze' and 'lightest grains' - another repetition. Suggestion: 'finest grains'. Re-read your chapter and make sure words aren't repeated unnecessarily.

- I liked that there were a lot of short sentences. It worked well. Sometimes the word choice was a bit complicated, e.g. 'traverse'. You don't need complicated words, your story is interesting even without them.

Grammar:
Not all your sentences are correct, e.g. "On the back of her hand, just before the wrist." There's no verb here. Or: "From the swirls ..."

- "The two embraced." and "After a lingering hug ..." You describe the hug twice - once would be enough. You could cut out 'the two embraced'.

- "a longer fishing voyages" - voyage

- "There she went." Very nice - this sentence helped me to get into the situation more and really feel like I'm part of it.

- "some a portion of sand" cut 'some'

Overall an interesting story. Keep working on it, it will be very good! I would be interested in reading the next chapter if you want to do another review swap.

[Anthony Wayne]

Thanks for the feedback

[Stanley R. Teater]

I'm enjoying the story. Kathrin S made some good comments on structure and language. You'd do well to consider some of her suggestions. You might also read the story aloud to yourself. Or, better yet, have someone else read it. If it feels good to the ear it will look good on paper.

[Diamond]

Romantic beginning and intriguing ending. Waiting eagerly for the continuation.

[Scplsd]

The history buff in me loves this. The reader in me also likes it. My only critique would be maybe adding a divider when it switches focus. But that's just a personal preference. Dunno if this site has a line break option like FF (never looked for it myself) but even just a bunch of x's for one line would suffice. Solid writing though.

[EvaThornburn]

Your words create such wonderful imagery. Found this such a pleasure to read. Can hardly wait for the next chapter. Thanks for asking to review it. Was well worth the read. Eva

[Marina]

So iconic, wow! Powerful images full of color. And amazing use of vocabulary. Can't wait for the second part! Make sure to read request it to me ;)