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Human Retirement

Human Retirement

A Poem by JohnsDavidburg
"

.

"
ending's sensation; 
an elaborate dying,
of old memories.

© 2018 JohnsDavidburg



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This is a great succinct writing that could sum up many an ending.. the end of life, the end of a relationship, the end of a chapter or phase in life, the end of work if one takes your title literally. I like that the reader can interpret what they wish with very few words. The second line in particular lingers in my mind, "an elaborate dying".... kind of haunting, kind of jest at the system, kind of sad, kind of tribute.. I got so many feelings off of that. Well done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks Red Alexa. It makes me happy to give you feelings.



Reviews

Retirement is the start of a new beginning, makes one think🌹very strong message put across🌹

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


Finally. You're a writer.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

I don't think that alone qualifies.
my favorite thing about short poems is the way I read them over and over and think about how the title relates to the work. I love the specificity of -human- retirement in this poem, and the weight that gives to the lines of your poem. the punctuation is unique too; I find that it paces the reading, emphasizing pauses as well as line breaks. it's a very reflective piece, to me. the idea of ending as a sensation, a feeling of, is very intriguing--and leads me to wonder about all the old memories that elaborately die.
thanks for sharing this!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

It nice when people notice things. The punctuation really is only slightly less important than the .. read more
You have created a full story in a hand full of words. Best thing about it is the reader's experience will set the backdrop

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

Being a lazy writer isn't always a bad thing when you do it write. Make the reader do all the work... read more
This is a great succinct writing that could sum up many an ending.. the end of life, the end of a relationship, the end of a chapter or phase in life, the end of work if one takes your title literally. I like that the reader can interpret what they wish with very few words. The second line in particular lingers in my mind, "an elaborate dying".... kind of haunting, kind of jest at the system, kind of sad, kind of tribute.. I got so many feelings off of that. Well done!

Posted 2 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

Thanks Red Alexa. It makes me happy to give you feelings.
TK, not sure if you know I retired within the past year, or if it's just happenstance. Still, I'll take a shot at this one.

First, kudos on "word economy" (something you'll find lacking in this review). Second, you summarized the emotional wreckage in the fewest words I can imagine. I always found it interesting, and somewhat offensive, how more people attend retirement functions than weddings, promotion celebrations, birthdays, etc. Yet, after the grand ceremony, you're forgotten and disregarded (unless your successor can blame you for one of their screw-ups). Still, there's a sweetness to retirement. The gift of being able to forever say, "I don't give a f*uck." That's truly the greatest sensation. (And, the same goes for the ultimate retirement--death).

Posted 3 Weeks Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

JohnsDavidburg

3 Weeks Ago

Ah, my guess wouldn't have been too far off. Wouldn't peg you for a fed. I kinda thought you might.. read more
Robert Ray

2 Weeks Ago

I'm flattered nonetheless (firefighters are close cousins). I'm quite familiar with Ft. Campbell. .. read more
JohnsDavidburg

2 Weeks Ago

God damn 5th group sf b******s; even when they weren't deployed you never saw them on post or if you.. read more

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6 Reviews
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Added on January 29, 2018
Last Updated on January 29, 2018

Author

JohnsDavidburg
JohnsDavidburg

Nassau, New Providence, Bahamas



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