Human Retirement

ending's sensation; 
an elaborate dying,
of old memories.

Reviews

[Alexa Apothic Red]

This is a great succinct writing that could sum up many an ending.. the end of life, the end of a relationship, the end of a chapter or phase in life, the end of work if one takes your title literally. I like that the reader can interpret what they wish with very few words. The second line in particular lingers in my mind, "an elaborate dying".... kind of haunting, kind of jest at the system, kind of sad, kind of tribute.. I got so many feelings off of that. Well done!

[Davidgeo]

Thanks Red Alexa. It makes me happy to give you feelings.

[sette]

wonderful writing. the words are full of meaning and the content is deep

[‘Thoughts In Time..]

Retirement is the start of a new beginning, makes one think🌹very strong message put across🌹

[Nipplegrinder]

Finally. You're a writer.

[Davidgeo]

I don't think that alone qualifies.

[Victor Ley]

my favorite thing about short poems is the way I read them over and over and think about how the title relates to the work. I love the specificity of -human- retirement in this poem, and the weight that gives to the lines of your poem. the punctuation is unique too; I find that it paces the reading, emphasizing pauses as well as line breaks. it's a very reflective piece, to me. the idea of ending as a sensation, a feeling of, is very intriguing--and leads me to wonder about all the old memories that elaborately die.
thanks for sharing this!

[Davidgeo]

It nice when people notice things. The punctuation really is only slightly less important than the words with this one.

It ended up being a haiku (5-7-5).... but that was entirely coincidental.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

[Cherrie Palmer]

You have created a full story in a hand full of words. Best thing about it is the reader's experience will set the backdrop

[Davidgeo]

Being a lazy writer isn't always a bad thing when you do it write. Make the reader do all the work... why does that seem to be harder than it sounds?

[R.E. Ray]

TK, not sure if you know I retired within the past year, or if it's just happenstance. Still, I'll take a shot at this one.

First, kudos on "word economy" (something you'll find lacking in this review). Second, you summarized the emotional wreckage in the fewest words I can imagine. I always found it interesting, and somewhat offensive, how more people attend retirement functions than weddings, promotion celebrations, birthdays, etc. Yet, after the grand ceremony, you're forgotten and disregarded (unless your successor can blame you for one of their screw-ups). Still, there's a sweetness to retirement. The gift of being able to forever say, "I don't give a f*uck." That's truly the greatest sensation. (And, the same goes for the ultimate retirement--death).

[Davidgeo]

I retired about 8 years or so ago. You're very right about the forgotten part. I sometimes climb mountains for attention, but mostly I just smoke weed, raise cats and enjoy the pleasures of the "I don't give a f**k" lifestyle for living.

It's not so bad, the elaborate dying I mean.

[Davidgeo]

What do you do you for fun while that is happening?

[R.E. Ray]

Given your words, I suspected you might know something about the retired life. Makes sense now.

I lift weights, run, make things with dead trees, and write poems I would've never shared with my friends from my former life. And, I sleep more than four hours a night.

[Davidgeo]

Share those poems with your other friends. If only to troll them and give them a good laugh at your expense.

There is great freedom in doing that no matter the outcome.

How old would you think I am?

I bet your 57.

[R.E. Ray]

Hilarious. I have shared many of them. It's good to hear some of their comments, especially since they can't harass me at work.

I'm 49, soon 50. Interesting guess on the age (I'm guessing because you have a clue about where I worked). I started young, spent 25 years and left two months after I was eligible to retire. I'd guess you're late 40s. Too much confidence and wisdom to be much younger.

[Davidgeo]

I actually don't... or if I did I've since forgotten. If you don't mind me asking, what did you do for a living?

[R.E. Ray]

All 25 years in federal law enforcement. I had a "special" title with a great benefit package. It's a former life I enjoyed, but not quite as much as leaving.

[Davidgeo]

Ah, my guess wouldn't have been too far off. Wouldn't peg you for a fed. I kinda thought you might've been military turned fire fighter. You just kinda look like a firefighter.

I spent all my time in the Army after college; field artillery/infantry. 03-10'ish mostly out of ft Campbell (1/320th).

I retired very young and only seem to be wise. I am 36 years old. I never got the "special" retirement package... though, mine's not so bad.

[R.E. Ray]

I'm flattered nonetheless (firefighters are close cousins). I'm quite familiar with Ft. Campbell. I have several friends and relatives who spent time there, including one with 5th group. Glad you got out young enough to enjoy more of life.

[Davidgeo]

God damn 5th group sf b******s; even when they weren't deployed you never saw them on post or if you did they were unshaven and rarely in a uniform. Army 18X guys have arguably the best job in the military. For some reason very few people associate the 160th SOAR with the 101st... they are pretty much the best unit there with respect to what they do. 5th group's great, highly elite, but the best of that community is always at Fr Bragg. However the 160th... that's the premier special operations aviation unit in existence today. Whenever you think of the 101st... think of helicopters (air assault).

I didn't exactly get out willingly. Injury played a major role in that outcome.

Firefighters are awesome... if you ever get the chance to drink with a Chicago firefighter I highly recommend you pursue that opportunity.