Chapter 1 - Where do I begin?

The first chapter of my novel, I Never Meant To.

Urgh! I'm up, I'm up. Stop ringing. Now. As in this instant.

I put all my strength into reaching to the side table and hit the alarm. It refused to obey me, yet again. I pushed it to the floor where the alarm finally died out with an annoying last ring. And so the cycle repeats itself today.

Note to self : Get a lesser annoying alarm.

I looked up at the white ceiling from under the covers. i sighed. Another day, another battle to win. I willed myself to sit up and grudgingly went to wash up and prepare for the big 'battle'.

'Hi Angela, the usual please,' I spoke, my large white rimmed sunglasses hiding my face.

'And a good morning to you too. You look.. erm perky?' Angela smiled while preparing my order of a non-fat latte to go.

'I don't get it. It's a Monday and you're already all... smily and hyper...' Angela looked at me with that bemused look of hers that often made me feel like a grouchy old maid.

'Sorry... It's just that.. I'm not your average morning person. I don't see myself being all hip hip hurray-ish like ever...' I tried to explain myself, but to no avail.

'It's fine Brie. You're just having a bad case of Monday blues. Hey, remember, you said you had something to talk to me about.' Angela took a self-deserved break to come and sit and talk to me at the couch.

'Oh right! I wanted to tell you personally, there's a position available in the marketing section. It just opened up after some girl quit. I just happened to talk about you to the HR department and...' I explained, smiling in anticipation to her reply.

'OMG! You're kidding me! Are you serious? Like, for real?' Angela gushed.

'I am. Now, don't get ahead of yourself okay? I just put in a word that a friend of mine is looking for a stable job. Your interview's tomorrow at 2pm.' I elaborated, smiling all the way.

'Okay! I'm just so excited! I mean, this job's cool. But it hardly pays the bills. I need to settle down. I mean with a job. It'll be so exciting! Imagine, you and me, working together! Thanks, Brie! You really are my bestie!' Angela just can't seem to contain her excitement.

'Alright, after bearing the good news, now on with the torture... I have to get to work soon. Meet you for lunch?' I quipped.

'Sure. TTYL. And thanks again.' Angela really seemed like she couldn't contain her excitement for long.

It was middle of autumn and the brown leaves reminded me of mutt. I walked defeatedly to the office, crunching some leaves by the sidewalk by my steps; the sound it made was like melody to my ears rather than the incessant chatter going on all around me.

It would be fun if Angela could get the job. I mean, we've been best friends since we were in the sandbox; in college I was the lazy one while Angela worked hard to get her grades. I did have my sense of fashion to rely on though; always the popular one while Angela gladly hid behind me. It's not like she's not pretty, but she'd rather attention to NOT focus on her. I was lucky to land a permanent job right after graduation while Angela stuck around, doing menial jobs, including being a barista at a nearby coffee joint close to where I work.

I reached the office and took off my black woolen long coat.

'Hey, beautiful. May I assist in accompanying you in bed tonight?' a voice from behind me, breathing against my left ear.

'Only in your dreams, hot stuff.' I retorted, knowing that it was Fred, even without turning around.

Fred and I... We are slightly complicated. We talk, occasionally with each other; we flirt, mostly with each other; and we sleep, usually with each other. But we don't bother acknowledging what we are doing, namely because we both agreed to just be shag partners; when I need some, he's on; when he's horny, I give him all. Nobody in the office knows what's going on between us and we prefer to keep it that way.

'Aw, Brie, you really know how hurt a guy.' Fred choked, somehow the feeling was fake.

I just shrugged and walked to the pantry. Fred was 2 steps behind me.

'You're early today. What's the occasion?' I asked.

'Oh, I needed to go over some figures and I thought I might run them by you.' Fred whispered, his right index finger inching slowly up the slit of my black skirt.

'You know, your crime is simply being too irresistible. Come by tonight?' his voice was nothing more than a whisper in my ear, but a conviction nonetheless.

'I'll come alright.' I breathed and let his finger inch higher up.

His finger was almost reaching the top part of my slit when he slid it inward and touched my bare thigh. I shivered at his touch.

'Can't wait,' he winked, traced a circle and left me hanging at the pantry. It was almost in the nick of time because

1. I could just give it to him there and then

2. Greg, my supervisor came in to the room.

Greg has been asking me out for a date for as long as I can remember. Make that ever since I joined this firm. He just can't seem to get over the fact that I prefer the more mysterious, broody type. He's more of the laid-back jock kinda guy. The attention's flattering though; I don't have the heart to turn him down everytime he shoves those puppy dog eyes.

Note to self: Say NO like you mean it.

'Hey Bretna. Morning. How are you today?' Greg asked, his expression looking oh-so-eager for my response.

'I'm good. How are you?' And there goes my pathetic response.

Greg stepped forward nervously towards the coffee machine. I absently grabbed some cookies from the basket on the table. On the other edge of the room. Greg grabbed a foam cup and started the machine.

'Um, I had a nice time the other day.'

Oh right. Last month. I wouldn't have wanted to remember, if not for the fact that we (and I mean, he) had VIP tickets to one of the most hyped concerts of the year; The Culprits. It was also the day I managed to score a date for next week with the keyboard player of the band.  Well, that was if the guy was really serious.

'Yeah, I had a great time.' but not with you, I wanted to continue. Instead I smiled a fake one. Greg didn't notice the insincerity. He smiled.

'That's great! I was scared you might not have liked it, but it's great you do. We have similar minds, I can tell.'

Silence from me. He looked awkward but pressed on.

'So I have 2 tickets to Alanis Gray's showcase next Wednesday. Apparently, It's sold out…' he looked at me.

THE Alanis Gray? I know it's sold out. I tried to get tickets but all was snapped up within 3 days. Apparently it wass going to be a closed door event. How did he manage to get tickets? In the first place, how did he know I'm a fan of Alanis Gray?

'How did you know I wanted those tickets?' I asked, really curious as to his reply. It couldn't be we have similar things in common, right? Like The Culprits for instance, or Alanis Gray; or the fact that his favourite food is beef lasagne with extra cheese. No two people can be so in sync, right? Or could they?  There’s was only one way to find out; from Greg’s mouth.

“Oh… I… I… I just thought it would be a cool concert. Plus I like Alanis Gray as well.” He stammered. I knew it. The questionnaire he gave me the other day to fill out was not ‘because the company requires it’.

“You like angst? Wow. That’s a first.”

Ok, Brie. Say No.

N-O.

 Never.

No way.

“I don’t…” I saw his dejected face. And those puppy dog eyes! He’s killing me!

“…. See why that’s a problem. Pick me up at 7?”

Great Brie. A date with the bore. Nonetheless, Greg’s face lit up and he nodded exuberantly.

“Okay, I’ve got to go now. You know, million and one e-mails waiting to be checked…” I laughed unenthusiastically and left the room, content with leaving the room. I headed to my workspace. My sanity is being kept on check here; my sanctuary.  I switched on my red laptop and waited for the e-mails to come flooding.

Printed on the bottom of the left hand screen = “1 new message”

What? Only 1 message? I opened the inbox. Great. A spam message.  2 days of not being in the office and nothing for me.

 

Suddenly, an IM popped up. FreddyKrue1911’s window.

FreddyKrue1911 : So date with Greg next week?

BrieManic : Wat’s it to you?

FreddyKrue1911 : Oh, nothing. Just wondering why you would actually wanna go out with that dweeb anyway? Isn’t he like, the most boring person you have ever met?

BrieManic : Yeah, well. He has tickets to Alanis Gray’s showcase. How can I say no? If I can change HIM, I’d rather go with someone else.

FreddyKrue1911 : Yeah? Like me? You know I don’t need a showcase to show my talent.

BrieManic : I MEANT MY BEST FRIEND.

FreddyKrue1911 : Haha. You didn’t comment. I’ll take it as a yes. I’ll see you tonight. XOXO

 

I closed the window.  He knew I wouldn’t say anything. He was the best I’ve had so far.

Another IM popped up. I was just about to close the window thinking it was Fred when :

 

JoeC : Hi Bretna? It’s me, Joey, from the other day. You gave me your IM address so I thought I might be able to catch up with you here.

 

My heart skipped a beat. The keyboard player of The Culprit’s talking to me! Stay cool and pretend everything’s okay.

BrieManic : Hey, how’s it hangin’?

What? That’s my line? Oh, bite me.

JoeC : Hey, everything’s cool. How you’ve been? We still on for Wednesday?

BrieManic : Sure! Where are we going?

JoeC : Come on, girl. If I tell you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now… =)

BrieManic : Okay, okay. I won’t press on. Just wanted a clue as to what would be appropriate to wear.

JoeC : Well, just wear whatever’s comfortable. I’ll pick you up at 6. Later.

And he went offline.

My heart was almost jumping out of my body just now. Wednesday at 6. I can’t wait!

 Wait. Wednesday. I have something on Wednesday. Right, with Greg. I had to break our date gently but firmly. Not like it was something difficult to do. I stood up and walked slowly to Greg’s work desk. He seemed genuinely surprised when he looked up and saw me standing in front of him.

“Urm hey…” Greg couldn’t think of anything else to say at the spur of the moment.

“Hey Greg. I’m sorry but I can’t make it on Wednesday. I have other plans, suddenly.”

Greg’s face fell.

“My… my Mum. She’s coming over next week. I can’t possibly leave her alone, you know? Hey, you can take Courtney, from HR with you. I know she likes Alanis Gray too.” I offered a solution.

“No problem, I guess. I’ll just stay at home then.”

Oh shoot. He’s giving me the I-don’t-believe-you look and the I-feel-so-hurt tone.

“No, no, no. Take Courtney out on Wednesday and we can have dinner on Thursday. Then, you can tell me all about how boring going out with Courtney is compared to me.” I winked, although groaning on the inside when I proposed a date with Mr. Bore.

Greg’s smile returned to his face.

“Okay! No problem. So instead of Wednesday, we’ll meet on Thursday, same time right?” Greg urged.

“Sure. No problem. See you on Thursday” I answered monotonously.

I walked back to my workspace and cringed.  A date with Joey on Wednesday and Greg on Thursday. I opened my planner and wrote a ☆ beside Wednesday and a =( on the next. Next week is sure going to be an interesting week, I thought.

 

FreddyKrue1911 : Ooh, someone has a date on Thursday with Greggy…. LOL

BrieManic : Shut up. As if it’s any of your business.

FreddyKrue1911 : Sure it is. I was about to ask you to come over on Thursday. Wait, who are you going out with on Wed?

BrieManic : Just some guy you DON’T know. Don’t go snooping and repelling all guys who are a tad interested in me okay?

FreddyKrue1911 : Haha. I thought I was the only one interested. In you.

BrieManic : Whatever, Fred.  You’re so full of it. You’re beginning to annoy me. Now, I’m not sure if I even wanna meet you tonight.

FreddyKrue1911 : Well, boohoo. Fine. I’ll shut up.

I looked up and saw Fred looking at me, wiping a fake tear from his eye. There goes my morning.  So much drama.

 

I looked at the bear-shaped clock on my desk. Wow, 3 hours have passed by and it’s almost lunch. Time really passes by when you’re… doing nothing except surf the Net, I thought. Just when I was about to message Angela, a beep sound came from my phone.

*Bet I beat U 2 e msg 1st! =) Lunch at the salad bar across the street. See you in 15.*

There she goes again. It’s like she has a spy camera in my office or something. It’s weird; a good kind of weird.

I touched up my make-up and prepared to leave for lunch.

 

I could see Angela waiting at the entrance at the newly-opened salad bar from down the street. I hurried and walked as fast as my heels could take me. It wasn’t long before I bumped into someone and made him drop his newspaper.

“Umph! Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to…” I started, while trying to rearrange his newspaper.

“It’s fine, really. Maybe next time, instead of looking down, you should show your pretty face to the world when you walk, alright?” a soothing voice laughed.

I looked up and saw God.

A Greek God.

A picture of perfection; the most delicious man who had the most enchanting smile I have ever seen.  His curls bounced while he laughed. Before I could recover myself, he had already taken his newspaper from my hand, smiled again and walked away. I stood in a daze until someone from behind me knocked against me.

“Ouch, watch it bud!” I yelled. The guy just shrugged me off and gave me the finger.

I straightened my coat. Across the street, I saw Angela waving her hands to grab my attention. I crossed the street and met up with her.

“Hey, why did you suddenly stop over there?” Angela asked.

“I think I just have met the GG.” I answered dreamily.

Angela laughed. “GG? What’s that? Green Goblin? “

“No silly. Greek God. Didn’t you see him? He bumped into me just now.” I retorted.

“Really? I couldn’t see. So many people across the street. It was a good thing I saw you. You know, you should be more outstanding. Like have a different colour coat for example; or a Mohawk. “ Angela giggled.

“Haha. Very funny. You didn’t see him? Oh well. I didn’t even manage to get his name or anything. I guess GG’s is G-O-N-E. Come let’s have lunch. Let’s see if this bar has what it takes to feed my appetite. I’ve had a long morning.” I told Angela.

Angela listened as I gave her the juicy details of what happened in the morning. Except the Fred part. She doesn’t know a single thing about it. She seemed excited at my date with Joey next week and genuinely bored when I told her about Greg. She knows most details about Greg and in her own words, ‘Boring with a capital B’.  After which, she filled me in on her day so far. She asked me on her attire for her interview tomorrow.

“A work suit would be fine. Nothing too flashy. Oh, read up on the company too. And if nothing works, show a little leg.” I winked. Angela laughed heartily. Before we knew it, lunch time was over. We made a date for tomorrow morning as usual at the coffee joint. She was working morning shift tomorrow before her interview, she said. We said our ‘laters’ and went our separate ways.

The afternoon seemed to drag on so slowly; I was beginning to wonder if the clock in the office was rigged. A little work here; a little report there. I glanced at the clock again. Perfect. Just 20 minutes to go and I can be done with the day.

 

BrieManic : You wanna go off 2gether?

FreddyKrue1911 : Sure, see you at the door.

 

I packed my things and walked to the door. Greg was looking again.

“I’m heading to Floud Drive. Do you… want to catch a ride?” Greg asked.

“It’s okay. I’ll just make my own way.” I answered.

“Yeah Greg, she can make her own way.” Fred snickered as he took my coat from the hook and passed it to me.

“Oh Fred, you’re going off too? Are you guys going somewhere? Maybe I can join…” Greg suggested.

“What? Us? Haha. No way.” I laughed nervously and hurriedly opened the door.

Fred followed me and caught up with me in three steps.

“No way huh?” Fred asked slyly.

I rolled my eyes and followed his lead to his Red BMW. Flashy car indeed, I thought. Must be his new baby. He adores fast cars, as much as, if not, more than he love women.

“Meet my new baby. “ he gushed, like a proud parent. Predictable.

“Gee, Fred, maybe you really did outdo yourself this time.” I remarked.

I hopped into the passenger seat beside his and admired the dashboard.

“Nice.” I complimented. Fred beamed with pride and put on his sunglasses.

We passed by Floud Drive and came to Goodword Boulevard, the place where Fred lived.

We passed the iron-grilled gate and walked to the burgundy door. Weird; the hedges looked trimmed. Impressive indeed. The last time I came here, the only neat thing around was the bed. And that was last week. He opened the door and switched on the patio light. I barely had time to take off my coat and I felt a hand snaking around my waist and heavy breathing down my neck. I felt hot. I turned around and looked him in the eye while I hastily took off my coat and left it by the door.

We never made it past the living room. Heaps of magazines were swept across the dining table with a thud while his hands ran through every inch of my body.  His tongue swept across my collarbone and he hiked my skirt up. He pressed himself on me while I nibbled his earlobe; my hands running freely across him. I took off his scarf while he unbuttoned my top. The urge was there. Both of us felt it. We were not going to deny it any longer. The day was leading up to this.

The moment he came, I did too. It felt like eternity but the pleasure was tingling. He rolled across me and laid on the floor.

“Man that was something…” he breathed out. I just nodded in pleasure.

“I’ll get you something to drink.”

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to get me drunk before we did… that thing we did?” I laughed.

Fred smiled and sauntered to the couch where we were planted previously.

“I guess, I just have to make you drunk before we do… the thing we do again.” and handed me a glass of champagne.

I propped myself up with my elbows and looked at him. I couldn’t resist but laugh. Fred looked puzzled.

“I don’t need to get drunk. You’re not really that resistible.”

Fred laughed his throaty laugh and leaned in.

 

It was way past 12 when he dropped me off at my apartment. I walked sleepily into my apartment and acknowledged the fact that my place will never look like Fred’s place, like ever.  I crashed onto my bed.

Well, at least I have a comfy bed. I smiled to myself.

Note to self: I should ask if Fred has a cleaning lady. Maybe I can …

I couldn’t even manage to take off my boots before I dozed off for the night.

Author's Note

Thanks in advance for the reviews! =)