Atoms

Atoms

A Poem by Lizardo
"

Atoms and Molecules

"
We live in a world of Atoms
Living around the past and the present 
Is this about our life is all about?
Promptly I become more mature 
As time goes on

I wanna tell you 
That we're all Atoms
Rushing againts each other
We become pararell to each other
Maybe its time to become Molecules

We live in a world of Atoms 
We live in a world of darkness and light
Trouble is a pain in our head
and Mistakes will always be mistakes

I need to tell you
That we're all living a life 
Even if you feel lonely
There are atoms around you
Maybe we need to become Molecules

We dream of being humans
We begin our life since we first think
Because our mind is a great desing

I wanna confess 
That we're all Atoms
Lonely crashing into each other
Maybe we need to become Molecules

I wanna tell you
To never give up 
I wanna tell you 
That you may be an Atom
Thats because you still need to grow
Maybe we need to become molecules

Maybe we need to become Molecules.

© 2015 Lizardo


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sL
This is a very effective format. I love the varying font sizes. "Promptly, I become more mature," and "and Mistakes will always be mistakes," are great lines that make me feel connected to the poem, because I relate to the words. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lizardo

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much selawson, I really appreciete this awesome review, thanks :)
you did something amazing ...
you meshed philosophy with very loose evolutionary theory

i dont know how much you know about how that works but this feels almost scientific in the way it was written

at the core lies the theme of growth (evolution)
and longing to be more than what we are (philosophy)

the use of atoms and molecules as metaphors was fantastic

also when you made each line a different font, that was a nice touch
and the use of color for ''Molecules'' as well


you do a good job of writing about growing up and stuff IMO


all in all, this was so creative
and unique


amazing job Lizardo


-Dream

Posted 8 Years Ago


Lizardo

8 Years Ago

Thanks Dream. coming from you this is truely an amazing review, thanks Dream :)
I put effort.. read more
closed

8 Years Ago

i can definitely tell
this is one of your absolute best

im going to add it to .. read more
Lizardo

8 Years Ago

thanks again Dream, it really means a lot :)

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596 Views
12 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 24, 2015
Last Updated on June 24, 2015
Tags: Life, Teen

Author

Lizardo
Lizardo

LA , CA



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