Fibonacci a lack of.

Just a throw away it's not that great I'll try to change this in a while.

Don't

want

 

talent

 

A burden to have

 

Should be given to those with will

 

Never understand

 

looking

 

in

 

Try

 

grasping

 

for some air

 

It's all closing in

 

Medicate this feeling to sleep

 

Lack of dreams tonight

 

Unconscience

 

Need more

 

Choke

 

End

 

 

Reviews

[aponijose]

Honestly, I didn't think that I could find a poem that can successfully discuss this topic the way you did with this piece. I agree with Boylan. The spacing really does work well because it gives that sense of being choked or having all this weight pressured right on top of you. This really is Poetry at its natural form.

I also have to say that I can relate to a certain degree. Sometimes, I feel like I don't deserve the gift of words because there are times when I either lack the courage or the energy for it. I sometimes think that there are people out there who deserve what I have better. But of course, those are just momentary set-backs. I should know that since I spend most of the time wishing I could be better at it.

We are a blessed bunch. Sadly, for every blessing, there is a curse whether in the form of responsibility or whatever.

Anyway, nice job. It's good to see people utilizing all the elements in a literary piece (words, lack of words, and spaces) to express. Well done.

[Raef C. Boylan]

The spacing works well, and the layout of lines in general.
Trailing into an abrupt finish...effective.
The comment about talent is interesting, a burden...I guess I've considered that before for people who make it big, but then it's more the fame than the talent. The talent itself...hmm...I guess there's pressure to use it, expectations, aspirations, the possibility of disappointment. If it's a thinking talent, you might never stop thinking that way, it could piss you off.

Good write.
It's fine as it is, but I imagine it could be way better if ideas for improvement come to you.