crap

More like a blog.

There so be hope all around

There's nothing keeping you from becoming the greatest

And yet your just another a*****e.

 

Wish that you could amount to a little more

Seems like such a waste of life to

Always bring me down

The world needs lesser people to make the rest of us feel better

 

Trying to understand all the footprints on back

Why did I get so bruised and this ego is the same

Can't believe won't believe that there is a future

But still unwilling to throw it all away

 

Come around and console this wreck-less-soul-less desire

To accend in this consciences

To beget a new religion.

 

Let this be.  Let this go.  Don't hold on.  Don't lose grip.

What was I saying?

Author's Note

Only took a 3 min song to create this just wanted to see what I could do in that time. So sorry if it kind of goes around round and round. Hey wait it might just be a square dance more then anything. Now it's time to swap partners and subjects.

Reviews

[Rachel Eisenberg]

haha square dance.

Anyway... reminds me of a song by the Damnwells ("...everybody grew up and turned into a******s..."). But only because of the third line...

"Come around and console this wreck-less-soul-less desire
To accend in this consciences
To beget a new religion.

Let this be. Let this go. Don't hold on. Don't lose grip.
What was I saying?"

I love this. It's the right place to end... I'm a big fan of simple sentences, and overloading the reader with commands. It's closer to an actual thought pattern, which to me is more real than 'perfect' poetry. And the last sentence: "What was I saying?" Yeah. What were you saying? I don't know. But then again, I'm not in your head, and I'm not thinking what you're thinking, and that's definitely good.

Yeah... More real...

[Rhonda]

I LOVE these line:
"Can't believe won't believe that there is a future
But still unwilling to throw it all away"

I think for a random 3min. thing, this is great. Randomness is what I love about your writing.

-R

[Raef C. Boylan]

A lot of truth in this.
I think you've done a great job in such a limited time.

"Can't believe won't believe that there is a future
But still unwilling to throw it all away" - I related to this section: stuck between ending up dead and ending up nothing...the survival instinct prevails - unfortunately?

"The world needs lesser people to make the rest of us feel better" - is this saying that the arseholes are lesser people, or telling them to leave you alone because if you're as worthless as they say, it makes them look better?

"And yet your just another a*****e." [you're]
"There so be hope all around" [is this written in a slang-dialogue kind of way, or are there typos?]

Enjoyed reading this.
Maybe you're a genius, creating things like this at the drop of a track...
Cool.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

lol i never would have thought i would be reading a square dance on the cafe...lol

[Erotic Goddess]

Let this be. Let this go. Don't hold on. Don't lose grip.

What was I saying?

LOL! I love this. It is so wonderfully disjointed. :)

Love,
Stephanie