Night Rituals

Poem that I wrote in early 2008 while sitting outside at night sneaking a cigarette. oh, the thrills (and agony) of being a teenager ;)

Red eye flights are soaring through the night sky

Dew is settling on the grass

I inhale a long drag off my cigarette 

every thing is calm tonight

even my mind

The past week's worries are escaping my body with every breath I exhale

Stars are twinkling down upon me

....I exhale the smoke. 

a long stream of white enters the atmosphere and then vanishes

I sit huddled against the stucco wall, looking past the stars

a breeze kicks up and blows the smoke away

I can hear a dog barking in the background

then quiet... the silence is deafening

I start to feel trapped, alone in this world 

utterly alone

time to ash as I take one last drag 

pretty soon ill be waking up.

to a new day 

and tonight's rituals will be a thing in the past.

Tomorrow is no different. 

and the next day... all the same

Im stuck in the present. 

not moving toward the future. 

nor living in the past 

I throw the smoldering butt across the fence... 

at this time of night I'm virtually invisible. 

Mom, dad, brother… all asleep 

time to move on. 

Author's Note

Something I wrote as a teen. It's pretty rough, ill probably add more too it and move somethings around. Let me know what you think!

Reviews

[Chris]

perhaps they were awake as well...laying imprisoned within their own versions of self-fulfilling hells. There is a lot of "silence"s in the nights - even in the days ...and even as people speak - ya know?

[Distant horizons]

Im stuck in the present.
not moving toward the future.
nor living in the past

I know this feeling well. Sometimes, even our existence seems to move like wading through treacle. Stuck in the middle, unable to move forward or go back. And I even have a vague recollection of those long and silent teenage years.

[Honey]

I really liked the imagery of this. I have had those moments, late at night, everyone asleep, just taking a drag on a cigarette and thinking things profound.

I think for you having been a teen, it's very good! I especially liked the opening line and the lines from "I throw..." to the end. I don't think there's anything wrong with the rest, it's nicely written, but as you said it could be cleaned up for flow.

Very well done!