What Might Have Been

For of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been" (John Greenleaf Whittier: Maud Muller 1856) Looking at past events is like watching your reflection through rippling water. The image you see is constantly changing like the infinite amount of possibilities that could have happened. But your reflection is just that, a shadow of the past you have to live with. If you try to reach out and touch the reflection, the only satisfaction you will get is a wet hand, or in many people's cases, wet eyes. Something about being Human prequalifies us for heartache over events we can't control. We find ourselves staring off into the distance replaying past memories of our former selves over and over wanting the best outcome. The gravitational pull of our own history is much too intoxicating to resist.

I find myself dreaming, even wishing of a different past the more that I find fault with the present. Just as water always travels on the least resistant past, many consciousness' including mine resort to wishing for what they want instead of making the change now. A few years ago, I was uncomfortable with my body weight and its restrictions. I had a hardcore double chin and masses of baby fat all around my face. All my friends were excited for PE while I was nervously waiting in the back, afraid we might do something that I couldn't with my weight. Running was nearly impossible for me though I usually lacked the motivation to even try to run it. Basically: I was dissatisfied with myself. Discomfort and unhappiness pushed me to start running. I could barely jog a fourth of a mile when I started but I built my way up. I'm at a comfortable weight for myself now and I'm even doing track! (Which I would have never imagined when I started running)

My only regret that I have now is that I didn't start being physically active sooner. Thinking about all the time and opportunities lost from passiveness makes me sick! It's intriguing to think about where I would be now and how different my life would be if I had never gotten slothful. I also wonder what I would look like now if I had continued on with my previous lifestyle. The images of those two thoughts in my mind are like night and day! The most important thing to remember however is to be happy with what you have or how you are. Currently, we don't have any functioning time machines, so you are stuck with what you are dealt. Teens get so caught up in trying to be like all the other teens that we can't appreciate the unique good qualities in ourselves. "Thus happiness depends, as Nature shows, less on exterior things than most suppose." (William Cowper: The Task 1785) Living in the past will only give you sadness in the future. Make NOW the time you won’t ever want to have to go back in time and change.