Bird on a Wire Part 1

A collaboration with Rachel Blackbirdsong

  

Eyeing the elusive bird on the wing I see

Flying free gently walking soundlessly moaning

Descends the I in mountainous bellows

Over the moon wandering through heaven searching

Embracing the fall that escapes me

Void of previous fears yesterday has died unremembered

Breathlessly beholding woe

Nighttime secrets languid lovers breathe dreams

Exploring height where the watermark broke

Yelling whispers gentle language holding joy

 

 

 

 

 

 Please read this first:

Bird on a Wire Part 2 A Poem by Blackbirdsong

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Each of us wrote a sentence and then gave each other the word to begin the next sentence. We didn't see the poem until it was completed.

Reviews

[Siobhan MacIntyre]

It's hard to describe the sensations this evokes: surreal motion, grasping for smoke, reaching for the essence of a soul. This reminds me of the type of jazz that sounds like all the instruments are tuning up at the same time, but softer, gentler. The lines are stacatto but flow seamlessly, and this line is purely exquisite: yesterday has died unremembered. Very compelling work.

Now...am I the only one who didn't know you are the one Rachel keeps talking about?!?! Sheesh! ;-)

[Rain]

This had to be alot of fun writting. There is such elequence in the lines, it is impossible for me to distinquish who wrote what. Fantastic job. Rain..

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. You two did a great job. Wonderfully penned.

[Daryl]

I like abstract poetry, but the surreal nature of this one threw my brain into tailspins until I read the author's note. Then I thought, "What a totally COOL game to play!" Finding out that neither of you saw anything but the prompt word for your next sentence until the poem was finished was a forehead-slap revelation.

It's amazing how you can do that and still end up with something that seems to hold together, even in its moments of jagged incohesiveness.

I love writing games like this, and I'm thrilled to see what you two have done here.

[Blackbirdsong]

It's good to see this back up and I'm still just as proud of us as when we first wrote it, which reminds me, we need to do another sometime.

[Miss Christine]

You know it's a good collaboration when you aren't able to completely distinguish voices...the two of you create a unique paired voice...wonderful imagery, strong contrast

[L.G. Knight]

Very Lovely, Very lovely indeed...

[Vanessa Whiteley]

This is exquisite and as others have written I can't tell which lines were written by which poet. They fit so seamlessly together. It is poetry flying free. Beautiful.

[T. R. Writer]

Words can't describe how wonderful this is.

[Gandré]

very pretty, deep and piercing. you guys work perferct together! This performance is a fantasy about nature.....the song is just....overwhelming, Rachel, I know that was your choice! love you Rachel.

write together a book of poetry with a cd for the moments of reading it. _That would be something...Find a musician, who could do that...ohh what an idea! Lionel, congrat on finding Rachel, smile!