I am who I am

Trying to come to terms with some of my personal issues

I am who I am

I learned that from popeye

And when I was young I didn't have many choices

I learned to sneak, and sometimes even steal to get what I needed, such as food

I learned to fight and hated it, yet I seem to always be fighting or bickering with someone

I want to be kind and sweet, so seemingly without my permission hateful words come out of my mouth while I cry and say I'm sorry and wonder how can I be such an awful person.

 Standing up for myself is the hardest thing for me to do, it is easier for me to wish you dead while smiling to your face; except,

then I feel guilty about wishing such harm on another living creature

For I am the person who sees a bug in the house and trys to capture it to release it

unless of course it bites or stings me, then I become a killer and find it hard to once again forgive myself

I am a person who would like to see the world in peace, but deep inside would like to see revenge; and I am fearful sometimes of myself, but how do you escape yourself?

Old habits are hard to break, wrong lessons are hard to forgive; especially those I have taught and passed on

Perfection is impossible, but oh I so want to be perfect, never making a mistake

I run from place to place, person to person, state to state trying to be something I can never be,

So today my goal is working on movement and non manipulation

Reviews

[Dana Kathryn]

This is good!! i can really relate..I think many people suffer like this..they just never tell of it!! You are strong for writing this.. :)

[BamaThorn]

This is a beautiful poem. I think you are much more special then your About would ever know.

[...]

. wow ... brilliantly honest and introspective ... am in awe ... this would've taken a helluva lot of courage ...