I'm Ok, Even When I'm Not

I hide inside the hollowness that has become myself

I avoid you all, but you don't notice

You don't see how I keep to myself

Because if you see a smile here and there, it doesn't matter

If I'm smiling I'm ok

And so I do, I smile and smile and smile

Until there is no doubt in your self centered mind

I'm ok, and nothing could ever hurt me

I'm eternally happy

Let me open your eyes

I'm hollow inside, don't you see

I hide inside myself afraid to disappear completely

My emotions I keep to myself

Patiently listening to you whine about life

About the things you take advantage of

I keep my tears confined to my room and my room alone

Where you can't reach me

But now I can't

I'm going to explode of emptiness

Humans are not meant to be empty

So why do I feel like all that is inside is dead feeling

I don't seem to care about anything anymore

Yet I so fear telling any of you

I can't tell you that I feel like I need to talk

Tell someone what's going on

I can't

I can't say it out loud

I don't want you to worry

Please, forget it

I'm ok, I'm always ok

Just like I tell you when you ask what is wrong

I'm always ok

Just like when my grandma died

I'm always ok

Just like when he ripped my heart out

I'm always ok

Just like when I realized that I'm not

Reviews

[Lunar Lightning]

The choppy, sprawled thing was sort of what I was going for. Because when you really break down you aren't focused on one thing, your mind is jumping everywhere
Luna

[Hillary Marie]

I think most people can identify with feeling sort of betrayed that no one seems to be able to see through your facades and no one really cares as long as you flash a smile every now and again. I know I can. The poem does a really fantastic job of capturing that - although perhaps it hits on too much and is a little choppy. If the flow were cleaner and it was more concentrated and less sprawling, I think it would really take it to the next level and be an awesome poem.