Stream of Consciousness Lovesong

From a disturbing blog I read last night, strangely it was mine, and i hardly remember writing it, only feeling really...

i thought i had loved before i had only grasped reached clasped held out for something anything to share space take up space push back the empty space fill in my empty space i

 

thought i had loved before but i had only needed and necessitated and maintained and kept my mouth shut and grasped reached clapsed held out for walls to close in my something anything keep out the silence push back the silence runout the silence in my empty space i thought

 

i had loved before but i had only coveted that which i thought was supposed to be love but only needed and necessitated and maintained i couldn't keep my mouth shut i had to say nothing loudly had to scream nothing into the silence at bay my empty space to keep the hurt at bay i thought i had

 

loved before you the idea of love loved before you the ideal of love loved before you the dream of filled in spaces shared space warm arms full heart beating back the silence filling in the silence with joyful noise filling in the hurt with silent screams i thought i had loved

 

before i knew i truly loved you i truly loved nothing i felt nothing i desired nothing for i believed there was nothing real there is only endorphins chocolate sex love endorphins only empty space with artificial joy like mannikins standing watch over the silence keeping the shadows at bay a joyful noise unto the lord of hurt and silence screaming i never had a clue there could truly be love and then comes you and now i know for sure i see for sure the empty spaces fill but the room grows wider still i see the hurt never heals but only scabs over scars a memory to be viewed felt tasted screaming in my silence you made me love you made me love you b*****d drain me dry leave me wasted discarded shell unfurled crushed the useless wings of beetles i thought i had loved before...

Reviews

[flaneur]

strangely uniquely compelling ensnaring and fascinating....

[Danielle Asher]

i just absolutely love the fast pace of this piece. I like the way it gets your mind going.
the ideals you contemplated are great. Wonderful write!

[Angel Bird]

This is breathtaking!

Wonderfully done in its fast rhythm, in its intensity, in its provocation, in its beauty in poetry and philosophy!

Your writing is overwhelmingly well done! Kudos!

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Great rant.
mannequins or manikins? It reads good both ways; I merely wondered for my own clarity.

Terrific piece of writing, though!

[free2bee]

Wow, this was truly powerful, reminding me of the pain of a love I once thought I had and lost. Thanks for sharing your poem.

[Idyllwyld]

This is true. It is honest. It is delirium in all its stark revealing light. I almost find that by not thinking along as I read it makes more sense than actually imagining the meaning---that the effort for the mind to piece together the subtext is really only slowing down the real flow. Of course, in this genre that's the entire point. But this was simple and raw. If this did just come streaming from your mind and fingertips in that loose structure and repetition then your mind has got quite a knack.

This is pain, and as Richard Marchinko says, "Pain is nature's way of telling you you're still alive."

And, as I'm sure you know, even in pain, "Stand and be true."

[Nykkiicia Cion]

This is beautiful.

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

The words are wonderful, beautiful, well thought out or blurted out from your soul. I know that it is part of the style to have no punctuation and all. I just wish that I could read it with punctuation. I know that my mind would be able to absorb the words better if it knew where to stop and start. I love the message and I believe that lot of people know exactly what you are talking about. I can't help it. My humble mind craves order opposed to chaos and my mind mixes up your words like they are all running together.
You do not have to change it on my account. I just want you to understand why I am saying what I am saying. Shorter pieces my mind can handle, but this one is too long for it to keep up. Yet it is so beautiful that I read it over and over to try to understand it. When someone is speaking, even if they are talking fast, there is influx in their voiceand pauses to seperate thoughts and ideas. If you really wanted to, you could add this same piece with punctuation and see which one people like better.
Love All, Mejasha

[The Musings of Mary H.]

You have such a way with words! Thoroughly a beautiful read!

"before i knew i truly loved you i truly loved nothing i felt nothing i desired nothing for i believed there was nothing real there is only endorphins chocolate sex love endorphins"

Lovely indeed!
Mary

[yinseriv]

I always get honesty from you. A beautiful honesty that dives into my gut and twists the dishonesty centered in me. You give me the freedom to get honest myself. I get a gift from your words.