Illustration of Closeness

That electric ping of someone so utterly close, in verse.

A sign of loyalty,

kisses on the fingernail;

on the painted surface,

a brush of the lips,

look up.

Eyes shining with desire.

Hot breath on cold hands.

Red face, butterfly sickness.

Tight grip, hand surrounding wrist.

Pull close forcefully.

Bodies flush together.

Feeling of skin under fabric.

Eyeing vulnerability.

Every touch like on pure flesh.

Waist, hips;

ribs, collar.

Gaze like hunger.

Lips scorching trails red on white.

Hands in hair, tugging like keeping a tether.

Sick with devotion, escalation.

Bruises and bitemarks.

Wrap arms so tightly.

Rough pull.

Gravity of a great desire.

Strong arms around slender frame.

Pulling waist to waist,

hip to hip.

Forehead perfectly against neck.

Listen, foreign heartbeat,

respiration from beautiful lungs.

Pale, delicate hand on broad shoulder.

Flaring plague of desire.

Listen, rushing blood.

Feel, rise and fall.

Melt into the bloodstream.

Love so close like inside.

Gentle touch, graceful fingers.

Pull back gaze.

The eyes of demon and angel.

Lay lips on open mouth.

Biting, strangling, throwing, taking.

What lays devoured on white sheets.

Lust.

Author's Note

I would like to know what this poem made you picture. I really wanted to paint with the words in this one, so knowing that would be great help. <3 ~Aura
Edited 30 May 2014: After receiving some advice, revised first two lines into first five.

Reviews

[serenae_dc]

The passion in this poem is satisfying. I was just expecting some more 'love' element to it because the picture used was more of 'intimacy' rather than 'lust'. But you did write: "A sign of loyalty/ kisses on the fingernail" at the beginning though - a nice description of Love.

[Aura Inanna]

Thanks for the thoughtful review! :)

[ExquisiteEyes]

Its so beautiful. I love the way you have described the movement of two lovers....somewhat like the first time they get intimate...the fierce longing, the ruthless passion...

[Brianna Brie]

The image in my mind is one of two devoted and loving people making love. The first two sentences set the stage for a deeper relationship by saying "a kiss on the nail is a sign of loyalty" and "a light brush of lips on the keratin." The momentum of the poem is one of connecting a back and forth washing. It moves fast and frantic with need and want. The words are well chosen; however, in the first two sentences starting with "a" and the use of "nail" and "keratin" are distracting me from thoroughly enjoying it. Fingernail would make a stronger image in my mind. As it is I am envisioning rugged steel nails pierced through Christ's hands. Keratin sounds too clinical and I imagine a lot of people may not readily know what it means. It made me think of my hair and nail supplement. Please do not take my minor suggestions wrong. You are a gifted writer and this poem makes that apparent.

[Aura Inanna]

Thank you for the kind and thoughtful review. I'll definitely think about your suggestions. :)

[Stephen]

I do write many short stuffs (don't know how bad) but currently, am on some novels. One of my novel .."Companion", am working on, is all about read world about new arena of world, in the first chapter, i've shed much lights on love and lust and after reading this poem, am confident that what i've penned there's to the tea right and true...
We're all humans and as far as we all know, "Humans make sin" and love's what that helps us making sin. ("Lust's an other form of love, lust stands of fragrance of love, the beauty..the smile, peace and happiness reflects from lust if we know the real worth of lust and if we treat lust right. Lust's not meant to hurting someone's body but it does mean having some drops of love with smile to make bodies feel good because it's love & the real worth of lust can be learnt from those who really treat love n lust right without hurting the body, without bringing tears on eyes.")

And i've founded much scents of love here which's well expressed into the form of lust. Am not sure you'd read my that chapter "Existence of love" of my that novel but if you do read then am sure, you'll find oneself that what you've penned into your this poem is to the tea beautiful. Lovely poem! The depth of your words can only be understood by those who treat love, lust and life right and I do really adore this write.

Now you've mentioned into your "Author's note" that what we got or what image we built in our minds reading this poem so, i'd want to say what I got from here ...
I'd made an image on my mind that there's b.f and g.f sitting before my eyes, making love with much understanding of each others. They know the feelings, emotions of each others. Demon which's a boy loving an angel which's a beautiful girl with thin waist. They're lusting because they're in love and attraction to each others's all what bringing a moon more beautiful than even and a sky more wide than before that night. Withing few minutes, everything goes settled down, they lips with open mouth touching, biting very slowly to each other and on the white bed sheet the two souls become one.

Lovely write!
Keep posting your new stuffs. I've figured out, "this stuff's penned on 18th.July 2013" which means approximately a year ago. I hope to read your new stuffs.

[Aura Inanna]

Thank you for the descriptive review! I have not read your work but will be sure to check it out. Expect a review from me!

[Rheeca Verons]

The image I have in mind is exactly what's happening on the poem. Derived from a chapter in the lovers' restricted book and made into a poem. I couldn't get pass the literal meaning of the whole picture. As I try to find meaning of loyalty, love, faithfulness, giving everything to a person, it seems it will only show when viewed as a whole than reading the lines one by one and give meaning to each. The night of two people who're really sure to have found their other half.

[Aura Inanna]

Thank you for the lovely review

[>.]

This poem made me feel like i'm missing something in life and I want to go out and get it right now.. It made me feel sad for what I don't have, it made me feel happy thinking of what it's like to have it. It was so striking and intense like 3d images blasting in my head I wanted to dwell in the passion and thirst for the desire that was depicted in this piece.

[Aura Inanna]

Thanks so much for the wonderful review!

[Chellie]

Very visual and descriptive. Loved it. I could feel the passion and lust. Great write.

[Sami Khalil]

"Listen, foreign heartbeat,

respiration from beautiful lungs.

Pale delicate hand on broad shoulder.

Flaring plague of desire.

Listen, rushing blood.

Feel, rise and fall.

Melt into the bloodstream."
A very good read and write...:)

[Aura Inanna]

Thanks a bunch! :)