Everyone Lies

Another moment felt

In pain, hormonal joy..

A fleeting little voice tells me someone else is here;

The ghost of someone long since passed; last week, last month, last year?

I wonder for a moment, if you cared enough to stay...

To linger, waiting around for me to notice, every day?

I'm not sure if it's real; that is, I don't know if I'm sane-

My longing is superficial, it wouldn't matter anyway.

Now many people think,

And many more people speak-

But me, I've had my time and toiled, with my thoughts-

Chaotic and bleak.

I understand my mind, at least to the point of familiarity,

I know that which is hidden, that in your soul you keep.

I'm not sure why my obsession,

Has driven me this far-

But I believe manipulation to be

A tool I've used from the start.

Another broken moment,

I understand now, I'm not real-

Nothing ever was before,

But I've realized I can't feel.

I feel bad, but I'm not guilty;

As that would be empathetic-

Me, I can taste the pressure

Because I failed to be accepted.

I understand my movements,

My survival is based upon an act

A façade, a flimsy mask under which

Lies the greatest lie of all.

I am not a humanitarian,

Nor am I a nihilist;

I don't care to be on either side,

Yet I've learned to feel through thinking

I'm not sure where I really stand,

But I'm not sure if I can really sit

And watch the world burn to bits

While we, ourselves turn to sand.

Ashes feel good on my feet,

But then again, so does grass-

The problem is that I always seek

Something to fight against that lasts.