Spiral into Insanity

one person

me, myself, and i

i sat here for a reason

sometimes it's better

so much better

to be alone

 

two people

a friendly, cozy couple

we sat here for a reason

sure, maybe she did

invite herself but

one is lonely, and

two is company

 

four people

a tightly knit quartet

we sat here for a reason

of course, she invited them

but they're so nice and

i would hate to be

the mean one

after all, it takes four

to hold a conversation

 

six people

more and more people

coming to my place

i sat here for a reason

it's my place

mine

i start shrinking slowly

back into the outskirts

of society because honestly

when there are six people

one tends to fade away

 

eight people

too many and i can't calm down

IT'S MY PLACE-

i sat here for a reason

if i wanted to talk to people

i would've sat in the damn cafeteria

i hate them-

i hate them all

for doing this to me

because it's all too easy

to turn invisible

in the middle of eight people

 

ten, twelve, a million people

all drown me in their sociality

my heart is racing

these days my hands

never stop shaking-

never stop trembling-

and i can't stop stuttering

and fumbling with my words

i can't calm down-

i won't calm down-

and the line between

can't and won't

has been erased

i can't won't calm down.

i won't can't calm down.

it's all the same now that

i've been erased from off

the face of the earth

 

everybody nobody

all the people none of the people

which is it?

i can't tell anymore

they've clawed out my eyes-

ripped out my ears-

carved up my heart-

i don't want to

do this anymore

 

i fade in and out

shaking as the people crowd ever closer

stifling me

suffocating me

cutting me up and-

running me through

chewing me up and-

spitting me out

 

it's so quiet now

the people are still here

but i've found that

i can't won't hear them

anymore.

i can hear someone screaming-

and realize that it's me.

 

i'm on the floor now-

in the darkest corner of my place-

what used to be my place-

i haven't stopped shivering.

the world hasn't stopped spinning.

my thoughts haven't stopped scrambling.

since the people came

 

it's getting dark now-

but the people are still here-

the people are still HERE-!

and they're not LEAVING!-

someone's screaming again

 

the world just keeps getting darker

and i can't see the people anymore

but i can hear them

they're in my brain-

they're in my brain-

THEY'RE IN MY BRAIN-

they're here

and- and-

they'rehereandtheywon'tleavemealone

they'rehereandnowican'tescape

they'rehereandpleasesomebodyanybody

they'rehereandidon'twanttobehereanymore

they'rehereandi'mscreaming,screaming,SCREAMING

they'rehereand-

and-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

suddenly they're gone

they're gone and i'm finally

beautifully

blessedly

free.

Author's Note

any feedback is appreciated very much!!!
please read and review/comment!
punctuation and italics are intentional and used to indicate increasing insanity...

Reviews

[Amber Lily]

I loved this! I truly could feel my mind slipping more and more with every line. Too many people sometimes freak me out too, it's a feeling that's hard to explain but you have captured it well here. The fact that you purposely misspelled to also submerse the reader into the feeling of being lost worked well in your favor, because it worked! A truly great piece :)

[That One Person]

Thank you so much for reviewing and I'm glad you liked it! Honestly, I didn't mean to misspell (oops!) but I'm glad it worked!