A FORMULA FOR LIFE

A Story by Mahoe

Abigail's life seemed to have come to its end when a niece was sent to live with her, little did she know her life was just about to begin...

My name is Abigail Turkson. I am twenty nine years old. I am a counselor. I work twenty hours every normal day and four hours on Sundays. I have no husband, no children, and no friends except work acquaintances. You may think my life is boring but I find it interesting, in fact, it is the kind of exciting life I had always dreamed of having.

Here is how my normal day goes. I jerk awake at 3:00am exactly. You may have heard of hypnic jerk? Yes, mine wakes me every day at exactly three am. I don’t use an alarm, my brains and experience are my alarm, I am so used to this schedule I go through it unconsciously. I read my book of prayers for fifteen minutes then I read my work books piled by my bed side table for an hour after which I go straight to my bathroom for fifteen minutes then I head straight into the kitchen for breakfast also for fifteen minutes and at 5:30am I head off to work. That is a little too early right? Yeah, I live drive through spintex road every day to work! Spintex road has the country’s records of the longest traffic jams; you could be caught up in traffic for seven hours. So in order to get to my office early, which is in Madina, far from where I live, I start early. I get home at eight and switch on the television which I do not watch but listen to, eat supper at nine which happens like twice in a week because I eat most of my dinners at a little restaurant with poor service on my way home. After fifteen minutes I get done, clean the kitchen with another fifteen minutes, go to the bathroom for thirty minutes then get into bed, I read for another thirty minute and then fall asleep and the cycle starts at three again.

But today, my life routine has been ruined! Let’s go back to how it happened. I woke up at 3:00am as usual, read the prayer book…you know the routine, lets fast forward to what happened. At 4:00am I had a call, I was in the middle of my books, and it was from my mom. This isn’t unusual because she does call me but it’s unusual because she calls when she has something to say and those things always aren't what I want to hear.

Let me tell you a little about my mom. Her name is Nadly Turkson; she is a half caste, slim, pretty, lively, vibrant, and outgoing and sort of a party animal etc., etc. and she is single…the last time I checked but with mom you can’t be so sure. She lives and works in the United States and speaks that hardcore gangsta thing. well her work is not exactly like a work; she writes articles for fashion magazines and blogs…once in a while, when she feels like it but the people love her and are ready to buy her work whenever she brings them, I think she is a good writer and she can earn much more by writing frequently and showing more dedication, but mom doesn’t need money. Her sister left her quite a lot of money and assets when she died, so mum is rich, not like bill gates but like Beyoncé and the other Hollywood rich.

Now let me give a little insight to my Auntie, she was born Emelia Turkson like all of us, (we protective of our grandparent’s names or mom didn’t let use dad’s name after he died because she said we would be lost forever but the truth was, dad’s family didn’t like her. They said she was a party animal and her sister of some tramp and their family was the cool respectable Christian family….so it wasn't like it was going to work anyway. Too many quarrels about families but we were used to it. We could eat our food and play games calmly with mom and dad yelling at each other right over our heads and we wouldn't notice…their quarrels always had one dominant word; my family, your family.) But later took Dadson as her stage name which mom says it’s because she was daddy’s favorite girl when they were growing up. Auntie was this big time controversial celebrity and it was a good thing she chose a different name and kept her distance from the family, we would have been in the media constantly just like her. Her nickname from many lovers was contestant twenty one, that was her brand name and you would have seen some of her companies if mom hadn't sold all and invested the money into what only she knows. The ‘twenty one’ nickname came from a model contest she won back in the days, everybody had thought the contestant twenty one was a loser and a sucker but she turned things around and surprised the world, mom and her sister, they always surprise people…literally they are bags of surprises.

Let’s get back to my mom, don’t worry, I will tell you the story of my auntie one day, hopefully, soon. So from Auntie’s little story, you get why mom’s article sells anytime? OK…good, let’s move on. Mom has been married for five times…and she is fifty eight years old. Hahaha got you! You thought she was young from all the descriptions above right? No she isn’t. She is old but looks young. You are not the only one surprised, I am too.

Now the call.

“Hello mom” I answered without enthusiasm. Our calls always end up in quarrels and I wasn't ready for that today. I have a long day ahead.

“Mom? What am i? Ninety nine? My name is Nadly! N`A`D`L`Y!” She retorted in her usual ‘angry about my age’ voice.

In case you don’t know, the salutation is routine; been happening ever since we learnt how to say our first baby words. I sigh; this is going to be a long day. “Hello Nadly”

“Hello, sugar…guess what?” she chirped excitedly.

“You are going to hang up in the next second?” I said in my sweet sarcastic voice, hoping she will get angry and hang up which never happens.

“You know what? I think you are growing into this mean little b***h that would die alone, like Emelia. And I wouldn't be surprised because you two got along fine.”

OK, so mom disliked her sister because she was more successful and she was their parent’s favorite when they were growing up but mainly because she refused to introduce mom into the world of fame, because she said she it wasn't like it looked, it was dangerous, dark and mean…in her words exactly. Auntie paid people to cancel shows mom would book herself using the ‘I AM EMELIA DADSON’S SISTER’ slogan with pictures, in the end she gave up and stayed home to look after us, just like auntie wanted. . They were good friends, but they envied each other. But they loved each other, mom was devastated when auntie died but she does make one or two negative comments about her.

“I think you are jealous every time I am happy and I feel sorry for you, princess” that was mum, she called you pet names even when she is saying mean things to you…auntie hated that too and I hate it too.

“…you living that boring twenty hour routine life style, like a mole in the ground, always trying to destroy happy people because you don’t know what happiness is”

Ok, I was tired of this and I need I would be late for work. Let’s start the argument fast and end it equally faster.

“Thank you Nadly but in case you forgot, I live in Ghana and it’s around four am here and I have to leave for work in the next few minutes. I haven’t even taken my bath yet, so let’s do the usual fast and get it done with.”

“Ok, ok, ok, ok….drum roll baby. This is going to blow your mind away!” she said in excitement. Mum…different mood swings in a second.

“James finally proposed! And he did it in fancy just like the Brangelina’s because she knows how much I love them!”

So I am silent, I haven’t uttered a word. I should be happy for her right? No I am not. And this is why; mom has been married five times already. First one was before our father, then to our father, after our father, came the next one which I attended, it was filled with these old women and men who thought they were teenagers and acted and dressed like them. It was noisy, crowded and everything I couldn't stand. There was an old man who was like a hundred years old but had the nerve to hit on me, vigorously and relentlessly than any other person did and my mother thought it was cute! Then there were two marriages in the last two years, which I didn’t go. I didn’t want another meeting with ‘look ninety feel nineteen’ or it was out of shame of mom’s many wedding I couldn't tell but I didn’t care either.

“I know, I know…” she chirped on in happy excitement, unaware of the reactions going on in me. “You are overwhelmed right?”

Of course I was overwhelmed! She blew my mind away just like she said she would.

“I know, it came as a shock to me too, and oh baby….” She squealed, “It’s a diamond! A huge diamond, it’s the second largest after what your father gave me. And he designed it himself, just like Brad did and it looks just like Angelina’s! I will have a fake made for my everyday wearing then I would add it to my collections, it’s too heavy on my finger.”

Yes, my mother has a collection of engagement rings, promise rings and wedding rings, chains and all them bling blings as she called them from guys who promised, who proposed, who married and etc. she had an eye for precious ornaments, am guessing the least expensive ornament would be a ruby or something of the sort.

“Oh mother…” I put on my mock tone again, “I am so surprised, ohh, this is so overwhelming. How many weddings is this going to be? Six? When can I expect the next one? Tomorrow? Come on mom, aren't you getting too old for this wedding thing?”

“I beg your pardon miss!”

“You heard me mom…even though you don’t look like it mom, you are fifty eight, it’s time for you to stop all this and be responsible. And the answer is no, I am not coming!”

“You are not coming?”

“Yes mom, I am not coming….i am tired of your weddings!”

“Now hold up one second judge Army, who is invited you? I don’t want a dull looking old hag at my wedding? I …”

“Well then why have you called me?”

“Now shut up, I am still talking. I taught you manners girl, I sure wasn't home all the time but I taught you some manners, Nina had them, so I know I taught something. Did I hear you mention a responsible in your drab speech? Yeah you did”? Now what do you know about responsibilities dear girl?” my mom took on her ‘am so mad right now’ tone I know so well and when that tone came, it was better to be quiet even when you are twenty eight.

“When in your entire dead life have you been responsible for anything or anyone? Do you even understand what that word means? When did you ever pick up a phone and called me or Eureka? And funny enough, you are a social worker and a counselor; I pity those who listen to you because you don’t know any s**t about what you are telling them. What do you know about life? Love? Marriage and children? You have never been married, no boyfriends, you don’t have any friends and Jesus; you don’t even have a pet, or a toy! Not even insects live with you in your selfish one bedroom apartment. And you talking to me about responsibility? I have been responsible for myself, then for each husband then for you and I had to be extra responsible when your father died and I have been responsible for Eureka ever since Nina died! Yet it was your name she left in the space provided for next of kin. What a terrible mistake my dear girl made. When was it you ever checked on your sister’s daughter? Your sister who took care of you when I wasn't there, who gave you her pocket money every time you lost yours, in whose arms you slept….the one who mothered you like you were her own.” mom’s voice took on the silent calm; “Will you even recognize her daughter when you see her? Yet you sit there and judge me… ”

Each word cut went deep into me like a branding iron on a cow’s back. I could smell the burnt flesh of my own guilt, every one of mother’s words rang out clearly like that one scream. I could feel the hot tears threaten to leak out of the corner of my eyes and I shut my eyes tight against them. I was over this, I have gone past this. I swallowed against the sudden dryness of my throat and waited to gain a steady voice.

“Am sorry mom” I managed, aware of the slight shake in my voice.

“You are what?” I heard mom say. I could see that satisfactory face she always made when she succeeds in dragging us into reality of remorse.

“You are sorry?” she continued… “You are what? Say that again, I dint hear ya. And the name is Nadly! I aint ya damned granny!”

Silence

“You are quiet now? You lost your tongue girl? “I heard her press on from faraway. I knew what to do but the memory that kept flashing and the big lump in my throat prevented me from speaking. Finally, I feebly managed the stop cue; “am sorry Nadly”

“Like hell you are” she responded as quickly as I knew she would.

“Now put that sorry a*s into your day and go find yourself a big apartment…”

“Whaaaaaaaaaat mom, I mean Nadly!” I shouted into the phone. I felt breathless like the wind had been suddenly knocked out of me.

“Yeah, that’s right Nadly. You heard me dear girl, you don’t need a repeat, you just failing to hear.” I heard her say from far away, each word stretched in an echo, blaring deep in my ears.

“You are moving here with John?” I stammered out my question, the pleading in my voice very audible, yet inaudible to me.

“What John” she retorted in irritation. “It has been over between Johnny and me for over two years now. I called you many times to keep you informed on the divorce proceedings; this shows how attentive and caring you have been in my welfare.”

I couldn't find any word to say, I wasn't out of my shock yet. She hasn't said the magic word. All my life, I gave people the no word and always expected a yes word from everyone. When someone asked for my friendship I always gave a no, when a coworker asks if I would want to grab a bite after work, I gave a no, it was a no for parties, no for ceremonies and no for many other things. But when I applied for my job I wanted a yes, when I wanted my apartment I expected a yes from the owner, when I went to my class and taught, I wanted a yes from my student. But at this moment, the magic word I was expecting from mother was a no! A big deep no.

“Don’t ever mention his name again, it’s been over for long now, I was young and didn’t know what I wanted in life when I met him. My sweetheart is James and no we are not moving in with you. We are not coming anywhere near Africa”

So great was my relief that I didn’t realize I had slipped out the thank God I said in my head.

“It is I who is thanking God, Begail” mom called me her favorite pet name; I don’t want my baby to die out of seeing that smile-less old face of yours.” She concluded with a chuckle.

Just when I had my breathing stabilized, she reached out and chocked me again.

“Eureka is moving in with you. James and I will be getting married in China where we will start our honey moon. We plan on touring the world baby! Going skiing, surfing, ski diving, cliff jumping and every exciting thing left in the world for us to do!” her excited voice whirled pass with the speed of an electronic train.

My mouth was opened wide by the phone yet no words were coming out, all that my mind registered was the word EUREKA! EUREKA! EUREKA! Repeatedly! I felt like Archimedes when he discovered the principle of water displacement but unlike him, I couldn't shout EUREKA in excitement neither was I happy about my discovery.

“….and put your back into it Begail” I heard mom say, when my mind came back from its EUREKA vacation.

“She actually chose to come down to you so I can get the chance to travel with James. Isn't that sweet?”

To me, there was nothing sweet about Eureka wanting to come to me or James, that damned devil who has come to ruin my perfect life!

Nadly hurried on, her voice rushing now and I felt she was reaching the climax of her bad news, I braced myself against hurricane NADLY EUREKA;

“…light up your face, go to a spa, have them sew a permanent shining smile on your face. She is recovering from a bad break up, usually, I advise she break up with any fool first before they even think of saying the word but she is young, still has a lot to learn, it’s a shame there isn’t going to be anyone to teach her now that am leaving. I suggest you Google what happiness means and try to inject some into your life. And Abigail?

“Yes Nadly” I responded quickly, almost automatically in my subconscious mind. Whenever mother called your full name, it spelled deep trouble, and you always responded quickly and politely like she expects you to. My senses snapped to full attention and I waited nervously like I did when I broke her favorite china set twenty years ago, only then I hid in a closet and did my waiting from there, it took Nina’s expertise to get me out, even though I wasn't beaten, the hard stare she gave me was enough and to this day, I despised China and never have one.

Her voice came like a blast of cool icy wind over a country just before a destructive storm sets out; “it must be extremely important to your sister that she named you the next of kin and not her father. She had always kept her away from him for reasons known to only her, do ensure it remains so, else that would be it for me and you.”

She didn’t need to say further, or threaten blood and thunder, mother never threatened until she meant it. I had seen all her threats come into form, when she was disobeyed, the two threats I had doubted most were when she threatened to divorce father if he mentioned his family’s opinions in the house ever again, he did and they divorced a week after, within that week, mother never spoke to him, no matter how hard he tried.

The next was my class five teacher, mother had said, if she ever touched me with her cane again, she would walk into the school with her own cane and whip the hell out of her and the headmaster. True to her word and unfortunately for the shrill voice lady, mother delivered on her threat, she did whip the woman but was whisked away by the police before she got the chance to get the headmaster. It had been spectacular. Miss Amoako had been shrieking in tears till the teachers broke through the thin door to rescue her, rumors had it the headmaster sped out of the school with his car to get the police.

My sister and I were horrified but we became a sensation in the school, we were never touched and nobody messed with us till we were whisked away to the USA to continue our education. It had cost mum two hours in a cell, dad had to come bail her out and the two laughed at the incident when they thought we were asleep that evening, we had thought dad wouldn't leave again, that we would wake up and it will be one of those great those with them running playfully in the kitchen making us breakfast but when we woke up the next morning, he was gone and a drunken tough mom laughing hysterically in the kitchen.

“I need some time to get myself together for….i need two months….to” I finally managed to let out

“Two what? Girl, you should know I hate long engagements, we are leaving next week Friday and Eureka’s flight down is a day before we leave. Why do you think I am telling you now?” mom scoffed.

It took my brain several minutes to calculate and divulge the information; Eureka was arriving next week Thursday! Eight days from today, I screamed with the last realization.

Mother laughed; “with that favorable response, I am off to bed. I have to look nice for my sugar plum, we have a date today and some friends are joining us, I have to look like the morning star. Good luck Hun.

The sound of the click at the other end of the line drew my attention to the fact that she was gone before I could find what to say. I looked out of the window and the state of the day hit me, the sky was bright, the sun was out and high up. I was late! I would have preferred our usual brawl on the phone; those were less shocking and didn’t take so much time. I had woken up on time, it was another great day in my life, where I get to follow my life routine little did I know something was going to pounce in to change it. Every single second of my life is part of my life schedule. I don’t do anything out of this schedule, no matter what. Now am sweating in my seat, and cursing silently at the sun sneaking in through the glass and windows, the blaring of horns kept echoing in my ears. I was aware of the acute stench of petrol that flooded my nose and mind, it didn’t bother me now, a greater portion of that stench was happening in my head. The car by my left moved a bit forward. I should have taken the left lane, every day I say this, I should have taken the lane that was moving fast but the only lane I ever take is the middle, no matter how slow it moved I never divert course, it was part of my routine.