The unknown

The unknown

A Story by makenson,zamy

what lurks beyond.

I was 17 when the first mysterious ship appeared through the blazing sky on a Saturday evening .I was shocked in fears frozen not knowing what to do ,so we're my surroundings. we Did not know their intentions only what we predicted on such  matter .such matter we did not expect to occur in such time .scientist argues among each other while the world panic in such fear.the unknown technologies  were beyond our understanding,their ship remain undetectable throughout its arrival to earth until they have started orbiting the planet.militaries around the world grows in fear with no plan or strategy to address  the unknown.government crumble , cities crumble in fears as violents rose up .the unknown orbited the earth for months studying us silently.their first action was to wipe out our network ,i watch as mankind most valuable satelites crash down in flames.with  our satellites gone communication between nations are terminated ,planes were no longer in service ,gps systems perished ,the world left in confusion,and fears.yet we did not know their full intentions,their second action were to launch  surveillance drones  around the world .these drones would scan every inch of the earth continent ,cities,mountains oceans.weeks later the drones would disapeared  out of sight . to be phase

© 2017 makenson,zamy

My Review

Would you like to review this Story?
Login | Register


I don't know if this is a flash fiction or a regular short story but what you need to work on other than checking your grammar and spelling is by fleshing out the character. The only thing I know about the character is that he or she is 17. What kind of person are they? what did they feel when they saw the space ship? What was their life before? etc. If this is a regular short story than it would be a great first paragraph with a little fleshing out of the character. If this is a flash fiction than you probably need to cut some stuff out.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 Year Ago

thanks for the honest opinion notice at the it says to be continued .I will be writing a second part.. read more
I liked the descriptions in this especially of the beginning of chaos breaking out. I would check grammar and spelling, sometimes got distracted by simple mistakes.

Posted 1 Year Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


2 Reviews
Added on July 18, 2017
Last Updated on July 27, 2017
Tags: science fiction, fantasy



orlando, FL

a 17 year old guy I'm currently still in high school senior year. I got interested in writing when I wrote my first short stories for an assignment at school . more..