My Journey Of Faith

My Journey Of Faith

A Story by Marissa

On my journey of faith God has opened so many doors for me. While walking up this staircase with him he's warned me to watch out for toys and I haven't always listened so naturally I've fell a couple of times. Luckily, he's been there to pick me up every time. Of course I've wondered why he makes things happen even when it's hurting me. Yes, I know there's a reason for it, but still. I've always said I'm not changing for anyone, but I've realized there's one man that I'll change for and that's Jesus Christ. There is nothing in this world that I could do to pay him back for all he's done for me, for all he's given me. Great thing is he doesn't expect that he just wants me to spread the word and I think I can do that. After all he deserves it. My point to all of this is I'm proud to say I've spent my past year walking with God and growing in my faith. God hasn't gave up on me and under no circumstance will I give up on him. 

© 2013 Marissa



Author's Note

Marissa
This is just a paragraph of some stuff I had on my mind let me know what you think...

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Reviews

There seems to be something strong you wish to express but it comes out strong and weak and strong and weak. A God that is amazing and powerful who carefully guides you and then he 'deserves' seems to be you the assessor and the judge to give or not to on consideration of his deserving it.
mmrom517 has some points I would suggest as well.
Yet I appreciate the essence of your paragraph on Faith as struggling on a path of life.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Marissa

3 Years Ago

Thank you....and I meant to go back and fix that and do what mmrom517 suggested but I honestly haven.. read more
Marissa, I really appreciate your story; it's very inspiring. You show such conviction in your faith and your God. If I may, please consider these slight changes to make some of the wording more clear. I think this short anecdote could be expanded if you consider making it more of an allegory:
"On my journey of faith[,] God has opened...."
"While walking up this staircase [you seem to have the metaphor of a house in mind, but you bring it in and then leave it so quickly. I think it might help to go with it more fully, maybe letting the reader see you walking through the proverbial house .] with him[,] he's warned me to watch out for toys[,] and [or "but"] I haven't always listened so naturally[.]
"I've fell ["fallen"] a couple of times. Luckily [not sure this is the best word to use when talking about how God has been there for you, but then again that's *my* faith speaking.]
"Of course[,] I've wondered why he makes things happen[,] even when...."
"Yes, I know there's a reason for it [I suggest change this to "reason for those those things," or just "there's a reason, but still...."], but still. [I think adding a few more periods to create an ellipses would show more suspense.]
"...there's one man that I'll change for[,] and that's Jesus Christ. There is nothing [maybe to be more assertive, change this to something like, "I could give him all the money and resources in the world, and it wouldn't begin to pay him back for all"....].
"Great thing is[comma might help here] he doesn't expect that[,] he just wants me to spread the word[I suggest inserting a dash or semicolon] and I think I can do that. After all[,] he deserves it. My point to all of this is[I think insert a comma, or write it as, "Here's my point to all of this: I'm proud...."
"God hasn't given up on me[,] and under no circumstance[s]...

Posted 4 Years Ago


Marissa

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your advice and I think I'll spend some time this week and rewrite the whole t.. read more
mmrom517

4 Years Ago

I'm glad I could be helpful. You have the basis for a fine story, so you certainly deserve the credi.. read more
Marissa

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words I truly appreciate them and your time you've spent to help me out.
It's very good. I have different spiritual beliefs but I still respect your path and am glad you find happiness there.

Posted 4 Years Ago


I liked the message... It's one paragraph, but it says a lot. Keep writing :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


inspite of the difference in beliefs between you and me, you have penned this in a nice way. in my religion (Islam) there is a rule which says, live your life as if you would never die and do for the dayafter as if you would die tomorrow...this means, we should enjoy our lives but at the same time we should always put in our minds that there is reward and punishment...

Posted 4 Years Ago


A statement of faith that will be most enjoyed by people who share your belief..

Posted 4 Years Ago


this is very sweet. Very straight forward, no enigmatic words to try to decipher. There are a few grammar errors, but if you read over it again, I'm sure you'll notice them. thank you for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago



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Added on May 21, 2013
Last Updated on May 21, 2013

Author

Marissa
Marissa

NC



About
Hi! Im Marissa I like writing poems and im not very good but it's how I get my feelings out. I'm a sophomore. Nothing better than friends and family. (but to me family isn't always blood) and well I l.. more..

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