Five Minutes In Hell

Five Minutes In Hell

A Poem by Mark
"

I rarely write specifically for a contest, but this one intrigued me...aND I realized I'd never processed my feelings about the b***h that turned my life inside-out!

"
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This is a previous version of Five Minutes In Hell.



FIVE MINUTES IN HELL

 

Toward Lake Pontchartrain I roll,

Toward my former home I stroll

What’s this? A cop

Asks me to stop;

I.D.’d, then on my way…

 

Like none I’ve ever seen, the mess

It leaves my heart in sore distress

The door, in hall,

Engrossed is all

The stuff I used to play.

 

LP’s, a thousand; VHS’s, too

Now Giz, I guess, it’s just me and you--

A ton of stuff,

Never enough

From my mud-bound arena!

 

I swear I’ve never seen a

More horrific sight, not meaner

Than what met my eye

The day that I

Bade adieu to that b***h, Katrina!

 

Mark Teague

3-19-09


© 2009 Mark





Featured Review

You so well describe the devastation and horrific pillaging performed by mother nature aka Katrina. I watched this on television and my heart ached for so many who lost their lives and those that lost loved ones. Great sorry was felt for all who lost their worldly goods to this catastrophe. How terrible to lose all your pliable memories to this wrath. But you will always retain those special moments photographed in the mind. I see one good thing came out of this devastation and she is standing beside you in the picture. You make an absolutely beautiful couple. Mother nature took a lot away from you, but look what you gained in the end. You are a very skilled poet. It flowed and carried a converstion with the reader. Rhymn, it rhymned! That I really appreciate.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

An almost light-hearted retelling of a true and genuine shock and loss; it's almost as if your mind could not process what was in front of you. Sorry for you and everyone else who had to rebuild the ground, sky, and world those days.

Posted 6 Years Ago


our best friend lives in Jefferson Parish, LA. she spent katrina up here in wisconsin with us. luckily, when she went back the only things she had lost were a tree, a fence and a few appliances. we visited her down there 2 years later and were amazed by the amount of devastation that was basically still untouched since the flooding. it is both sad and maddening. i love that area. new orleans and the surrounding area are so unique and their spirit is so special, it's a shame that so many were forced to leave. i can't imagine the feelings that must have hit you as you went back after the flood. i congratulate you for your ability to keep on going and start all over.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Homecomings can be exceptionally sentimental moments. Stepping back into a wrecked home and past after a sudden event upturns everything must be overwhelming. Your poem is packed with simmering hurt and shock over the mess. The sight of personal possessions scattered must raise a storm of emotions, reflections and speculations of a 'what's it all about' nature. I was interested to see how you wld respond to a contest as I too find it hard to write to a contest. I think you did a great job as the poem was just waiting there for a prod to come out and is entirely personal and not forced at all. Also the execution is delightfully balanced and tidy, a neat contrast to the chaos of the subject. Enjoyed the read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You so well describe the devastation and horrific pillaging performed by mother nature aka Katrina. I watched this on television and my heart ached for so many who lost their lives and those that lost loved ones. Great sorry was felt for all who lost their worldly goods to this catastrophe. How terrible to lose all your pliable memories to this wrath. But you will always retain those special moments photographed in the mind. I see one good thing came out of this devastation and she is standing beside you in the picture. You make an absolutely beautiful couple. Mother nature took a lot away from you, but look what you gained in the end. You are a very skilled poet. It flowed and carried a converstion with the reader. Rhymn, it rhymned! That I really appreciate.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Your emotions here are so powerfully expressed! Read several times to capture all the intricacies of your words, and the graphic intensity. Amazing work, Mark!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh My Mark!!
What horror and feelings of utter hopelessness must have covered over you like a blanket of mud as that covering all of humanity within its sordid path of destruction and loss! You have captured the raw emotion of this horrendous, and catastrophic event in that I can feel your pain!
So sorry you were a part of it!!!
With Compassion,
Sheil'

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! How did I miss reading this one? At first, when I read your note at the top, I was a bit shocked, yet curious, so just had to read on. And you kept me guessing until the end. It drives home the reality of heartache and loss do to the hurricane's destruction. Very well penned! Congratulations on your win, my friend!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 19, 2009

Author

Mark
Mark

Las Vegas, NV



About
Writing, for me, has always been the friend who brought out the best in me, and who would never argue with me, except when necessary to point out my many obvious inconsistancies. Writing and.. more..

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