That Frigid Black Sea

That Frigid Black Sea

A Poem by Mark
"

Inspired by "Titanic", a song by David Olney, heard on a broadcast of National Public Radio's "The Art of the Song", this last Saturday night...

"

You got up in my face,

I got under your skin....

 

You invaded my space,

Where no-one'd ever been.

 

I seemed frigid and pure

As I to your heart slipped

 

But in fact was unsure

Why my cold your soul ripped.

So, there could never be

Such a thing as a "We"

For you are quite you,

and I am just me.

 

Next time we might try

Just to sail swiftly by

Not to merge, you and I,

'Neath the cold, empty sky....

 

 On the frigid, black sea

 

 

From Hibernian shore

You pushed back, last week

 

They all said you were more;

They all thought you unique

 

You bought into their fiction--

They nor you had a fear

 

Convinced you were perfection

'Til to me you drew near.

 

So, I'll rip you asunder,

Mid your roars and your thunder

Too late, you see your blunder;

In your death throes, you wonder

 

If, next time, we could try

Just to slide safely by,

Not to meet, you and I

'Neath that cold empty sky...

 

As you slip swiftly under

 

That frigid, black sea!

 

 

 

 


© 2010 Mark



Author's Note

Mark
The song which inspired this poem dealt purely with that night in 1912 when the ship that was said to be unsinkable sank on her maiden voyage. This is less about that event than oher incursions more current to most of our lives. Also, just learned that, although she was BUILT in Ireland (from Hibernian shore), she actually sailed from Southhampton, so I may need to re-wprk that stanza.

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I really, really love this! I've had a thing for the Titanic ever since I was very young, so anything that inspires a lonesome image such as a frigid black sea is wonderful to me. I love the mirroring of that devastation to that similar one of a personal life. The things that could never be. I found that your rhythm in this was perfection and I kept lolling on and on with it, almost as though with a current. It mimicked the sea itself very well. While it may not be technically correct, I did enjoy the bit about the "Hibernian shore". Something about it, to me, echoed a bit of Poe, and anything that echoes him is amazing in my book. It adds an air of mysticism to the poem, a bit of mystery much like how one might wonder whether there wasn't a deity at hand in that tragedy.
Great poem!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a very creative write but I think I may need to revisit it a few more times.

Posted 4 Years Ago


In keeping with Helena's request, that I mention the reasons why I like this as much as anything I have ever written, I can only say that the interaction between two wholly different beings, who can only see the reason for their tragic relationship from their own point of view, and cannot (or WILL not) understand that both had roles in creating the disaster, is a story both older and newer than 1912, one which is known to us all, myself not least.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Yes, I clearly see the Titanic in this. But I also see its strange analogy to a love story oabout two entirely separate entities...

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mark

5 Years Ago

That of course, is the core meaning, as I mentioned the other day: to use a reference to one thing t.. read more
You've done a brilliant job of making comparisons to that fateful evening and this ill-fated relationship. I've read a lot about the ship and its initial expectations. As we know things didn't go so well and your poem alludes to the story-line quite well. One would imagine you as an iceberg after reading this but In the brief time I've been exposed to your writings I find you anything but cold. haha Another exceptional poem Mark.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Mark,
I'm not sure if I know the Titantic song...and Peaceful Easy feeling (Eagles) is playing in the background so that's the only melody I hear right now...But I would pay to hear your song sung...what a great composition..with a terrifically mastered video in the background...It would bring tears to our eyes..
stunning portrayal as vivid, extraordinary images come to mind during,after and between every line. It could, metaphorically be about any relationship..damn the torpedoes (or icebergs in this case)...full speed ahead. Great write
allen
I'd feel the same way about accuracy...but really, do you think anyone would know...or care? Only change, however, is the name..go for it.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mark

5 Years Ago

When I first released this a year or so ago, there was a musician on board at the Cafe (John Stuckey.. read more
Allen Smuckler

5 Years Ago

Hey Mark....Better late then never...I had to do a lot of rereading to understand, but now I get it... read more
Another excellent piece, Mark! I like this part as well:
So, there could never be
Such a thing as a "We"
For you are quite you,
and I am just me.
Makes me think of a quote from Fritz Perls. Anyway, you have constructed a beautiful piece of art.


Posted 6 Years Ago


I really, really love this! I've had a thing for the Titanic ever since I was very young, so anything that inspires a lonesome image such as a frigid black sea is wonderful to me. I love the mirroring of that devastation to that similar one of a personal life. The things that could never be. I found that your rhythm in this was perfection and I kept lolling on and on with it, almost as though with a current. It mimicked the sea itself very well. While it may not be technically correct, I did enjoy the bit about the "Hibernian shore". Something about it, to me, echoed a bit of Poe, and anything that echoes him is amazing in my book. It adds an air of mysticism to the poem, a bit of mystery much like how one might wonder whether there wasn't a deity at hand in that tragedy.
Great poem!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Taken as either a poetic account of maritime tragedy or translated to a single personal experience, the metaphor of pride and destruction is especially poignant. The dual nature of this work allows it to speak to both the historian and the soul just a little too vain and impulsive to look before they jump in. Bravo.

Posted 6 Years Ago


wow, this is really good...it starts off really well and continues...the imagery is phenomenal...good writing and great piece...

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mark, this is stunning! You have created a poem that leaves chills with the reader! Amazing love :)
The depth of imagery here is wonderfully in motion, you invite, the poem descends into the darkness, quite eerie:)
Great poem love
xx

Posted 6 Years Ago



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Added on October 25, 2010
Last Updated on October 25, 2010

Author

Mark
Mark

Las Vegas, NV



About
Writing, for me, has always been the friend who brought out the best in me, and who would never argue with me, except when necessary to point out my many obvious inconsistancies. Writing and.. more..

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