Everybody But The Protagonist

I’m not convinced that this is where to start

But it is, after all, the top of the page

It has not yet let me down

 

I saw a woman at a bus stop today, all alone

Her eyes haunted me but the rest was just human

 

Everybody is in strict dress code

Uniformed in this year’s theme:

“Originality”

 

Even that guy

The one with tattered boots and scruffy hair

Has spent ages getting that “I just threw this on” look

So authentic

“Just perfect”

Looking bad so that he looks good

 

Even that girl

A determined socialite “sans determination”

Still dressed to be seen: a walking brand

Screams “Plastic skin; Plastic personality”

Whilst carelessly perched upon her chair

Waiting for someone to say:

“What is she doing here?

This heroine amongst losers”

 

I’m not falling: just sinking

Deeper and Deeper

Further and further away

 

Guess it is time to leave here

And let my thoughts drift away

 

 

 

Reviews

[L. L. Jacobson]

I�m not convinced that this is where to start
I saw a woman at a bus stop today, all alone
Everybody is in strict dress code
Even that guy
Even that girl
I�m not falling: just sinking
Further and further away
Guess it is time to leave here
And let my thoughts drift away

How clever that you have a substratum - a poem within a poem, and brilliant that
the sentences in bold are the subjects of the matter of this poem, this story within;
the sentences beneath the ones in bold are of course, the descriptions of (that girl, that guy, etc)
these things and the perspective gained through your eyes of the conformity and all the other
fallacies that come with the pressure society places on its beings-
What great insight you have, and I couldn't agree more. Everyday I m surrounded by those same "types"
(you see? By me saying "types" then I am judging, but not, at the same time- it is out there, deemed by society, types, with plastic skin, plastic personalities.)
I'm glad I am not one of them, and, seemingly you, just for the contrary testament of your words.
Brilliant.

[PhoeniX]

a clever rhythm and true originality. i saw random strings of thought but it all flowed well. good job

[T. F. Rice]

Isaac:

I liked this piece, but wasnt sure it sounded like it was complete "as is", so we passed. It didnt make the winning spot in "The Other Herald's Summer Writing Contest". This was the last cut.

Thanks for your patience. We had tons and tons of submissions for this contest, and we read/considered every one.

Please feel free to submit in the future, to our contests on Writerscafe.org, or by email to [email protected]. If you submit there, please do so as text in the email, and include basic information, i.e. name as you wish it to appear if published, short bio, and mailing address (for free copies, which are payment in every case).

TOH is a monthly publication of literary works, writing contests, submissions opportunities, columns, articles of interest to writers, and much more. Check us out any time on www.tfrice.etsy.com where there are some back issues available (to buy, or to look at anyways).

Most of all, be encouraged to "write on" and know your submission was appreciated much.

Kind regards,
T F Rice
Editor of THE OTHER HERALD

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Love the whole plasticity of the theme,
I saw a woman at a bus stop today, all alone
Her eyes haunted me but the rest was just human

[Nicole M. Isabella]

a great truth on the sociology of today...your opening was fantastic...start from the point where everyone could relate...i did not find your formatting to be a distraction to the reader at all...i also love the poem within a poem aspect as well...the ending was perfect...tied everything together ...love the message!
N*

[Chase Alexander]

A very good piece. It is all very true, and it is well put and has a uniaue set-up.My favorite stanza is the first one, whixh leads into the only problem I have with the poem; it gets a little duller as you read through, in my opinion. I liked the poem more when I read the insight L.L. gave with the bold lines somewhat forming their own poem.

Very nice! Very nice indeed.

-Chase Alexander

[Callie Bookman]

Wonderful. The formatting with bold words and italic words is strange and a bit distracting, but otherwise I really loved it.

[Brandon]

Great poem from being to end...beautiful work...

[Six Impossible Things]

What a great opening. We start where everyone has always started. And maybe that's what gives us the reassurance to go on.

We are walking contradictions, throwing ourselves up against society.

I like the visual effects, here. The bolds and the italics all work well and serve their purposes. Very nice. Very strong.

[EVERYTHINGyoucantelltoS..]

the particular point of view that the protagonist has is such a nice way to put things...because theyre not only in context, the comments that is, but they relate society to how it wants to be, and how hard it actually tries to become that...its almost like second guessing whatever poeple think they are, the title adds a bit of mystery as well...going in my library, if you care to know...