Ballade for Denial

Ballade

Should you attempt to ease my pain,
take warning, mine's a toxic brew,
with any spillage sure to stain
and burn its noxious way down through
those armored plates protecting you,
concealing that soft heart beneath,
a treat this beast will slowly chew...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

My dark mind's torn and hardly sane,
left barren since her love withdrew,
and charities would but profane
those memories I hold askew,
those cloudy thoughts of love so true,
those daggers hid in yearning's sheath
that slice when others misconstrue...
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Go hang from your damned sugarchain
of coaxes meant to help renew.
There are no passions to regain.
There's nothing left here to imbue.
My shattered rose rejects your glue.
It's not a blossom for your wreath.
So, toss your thoughts of breaking through...
the hope's left stuck between sharp teeth.

And, if a doubt remains as to
the character that's underneath,
then tease my shell and watch me spew
the hopes left stuck between sharp teeth.

Author's Note

I let the idea of writing a ballade tumble around in my head for about a week, then wrote it all in one late night go. Why did a monster pop out?
Please let me know what you think.

Check out this link for an explanation of the ballade form and a lovely poem.
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/RichardJ/1619403/

Reviews

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem is raw and emotional. The imagery and language used to describe your pain and the toxicity of your emotions are powerful. Your use of repetition in the poem emphasizes the idea that the hope you have left is fragile and easily shattered. The message of the poem is clear: you are in pain and you do not want anyone to try to ease it. The last stanza is particularly striking, as it suggests that others should be cautious in approaching you because of the intensity of your emotions. Overall, the poem is well-written and conveys a strong message about the complexities of pain and the difficulty of healing.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, and the feedback! :)

[Betty Hermelee]

I love the ballad form and the flow is perfect; this is a kind of a push and pull love affair; I like the phrases...” hope left stuck between sharp teeth”.....I like the idea of a monster- like demon with a shell, but what’s underneath? I still see some hope in this bitterness.
Thanks for sharing
Best, Betty

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Betty! :)
I'm sure this guy will work through his issues eventually. Haha

[Betty Hermelee]

Hope so, doesn’t matter, it’s a beautiful poem

[Linda]

I like your Ballade very much, Matavelli. It's bitter + sweet, all rolled into one. I think it works very well on a psychological level, as well, because sometimes, emotional truth can feel like our worst enemy - we are damned if we let it out and damned if we don't. Thank you for sharing. L.

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Linda! :)

[gram linski]

Ha ha, loved the monster, it has a fine way with language and a dirty mind try a bit of freestyle sometime, and truly release the beast, good write,

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, gram! :)

[Robert Trakofler]

all brilliant, all true and all absolutely hilarious... this made me laugh the whole time i read it. What a vermicious ballad of brilliance!!! Oh how I used to be this guy, the honesty in this is write absolutely beautiful.
I will be saving this! Style wise the rhyme and rhythm and the flow were great and the subject matter fantastic. what an awesome night you had in the making of this one... you must of slept in a golden wave of satisfaction after finishing this write good sir. Wow

[mattavelli]

Thanks! :)
I am proud of this one. Rhyme wise its the most restricted poem I've written. Think of thirteen things that rhyme with Glue and put them into a coherent poem. Not easy, but this one seemed to build itself. That's what I like about poetry, the puzzle of fitting things into the patterns, and the unique phrases we get to construct to make it work.

Have you written any form poetry, sonnets or haiku?

[Robert Trakofler]

you should be proud of it. mostly my own forms i toy with the idea of a sonnet occasionally. I modeled my narrative voice on Lewis Carroll in a couple of my epics

[Stella Armour]

wow ... aa poet after my own heart; lovely form with a repetition, perfect rhyming ... it flows just like a ballade should.

wonderful poetry my friend A++

[mattavelli]

Thank you for reading, Stella! :)
Have you written a ballade?

[Stella Armour]

I haven't my friend, but after reading yours i have downloaded the form, so am just working on a strong repetition line :)
Your work is very impressive ..

[mattavelli]

I'd like to read it when its finished. :)

[Stella Armour]

Am first two verses in .. will finish it soon :)

[BlackPrince]

Wonderful use of rhyme, rhythm, refrain and stanza structure!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, BlackPrince! :)

[Frederika]

Now THAT is a lot of hate. Beautiful though.

[mattavelli]

Thanks for reading, Frederika! :)
It's not hate. It's denial turned to anger at one who offers consolation.

[Raj Sahu]

The only word my mouth uttered after reading your entry is 'WOW'!! I am just speechless before this work. You had done an excellent job. I like the lyrics, the rhymes and what not??
Thank you.
Hearty Congratulations!!

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Raj! :)

[emipoemi]

Wow!....Seriously.....no words could justify the sensation I have after reading this. The rhythm is great, the musicality is fantastic, the imagery is strong, and it simply tells a great story. Even the refrains hit the right notes!! Well done!

[mattavelli]

Hello, emi! :)
After two weeks of receiving no reviews, i get five from you within an hour. Thank you! I'll be sure to repay the favor.

[emipoemi]

The pleasure was all mine.

[barleygirl]

Lately I'm not adventurous with trying new forms & I'm not familiar with the ballade, but here you've done such a bang-up job with rhythm & rhyme, I kinda want to try one myself someday. I like that all your expressions are filled with originality & I like the way there's a bit of venom seeping thru-out this vehement little rant. The first stanza is especially good as far as the message & structure. I love this line: "go hang from your damned sugarchain of coaxes" . . . a prime example of your nicely tempered rant.

[mattavelli]

Thank you, Barleygirl! :)
The ballade was fun to write. The rhyme was a challenge. Give it a shot!!!