Buried deep

As the troubles get more steep,

it gets harder to deny.

the girl's buried deep,

and sorrows piled high.

 

Tears start to flow,

but only when she's alone.

She can't let them know,

how soft she's grown.

 

They don't have a clue,

she cries until she passes out.

No one knows but I do.

I know because I'm the one your thinking about.

Author's Note

This is the first poem i have written in a long time. I would like to know how i did honest opinions

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

last line...
"I'm the one you're thinking about"

troubles mature us, the pain makes us grow older and bury the little girl within...or the little boy...

the tears flow...and we are different somehow...more vulnerable...

pain changes us...we can never go back.

quite a good write...centered yet ambiguous to have readers relate as they will....i really like that in poetry...

[Spookers]

This is good, though I feel it could be better. I just don't feel the usual emotion that you put into your poems in this one.

[Muse]

This is pretty good sweetie. I'll tell you what I told a new writer a couple of years ago. If you want to be really good at poetry...DON'T HOLD BACK...even if your emotions are raw like an open sore...pen it...the reader will tap into your creative spirit when you do this.

[Courtney]

You did very well. It has strong emotion in it. The words click together nicely and has a good flow too.

[Valentine]

It starts out fine..then lingers a bit..but you keep them coming..Valentien

[Robin Dale Deatherage]

Very Nice. I too have started back.

[lee von cleef]

Open open you let us all cry with you,good step to being brave.

[felioness]

I enjoyed this because of the perspective in which it was written. It was unique and refreshing...the content real. The sensuality is rather knowing and it is a surprise that teases the reader.

[The Wave]

Very heartfelt and a bit sensual. Great job:) 100/100