My Favorite Flower

My Favorite Flower

A Poem by mcg03002
"

Someone very dear to me told me a few days ago that he'd like us to work on writing together. We talked of writing on a theme and exchanging. "What's your favorite flower?"

"

White like a winter’s morn, dusted in snow;

Soft as a blanket of down;

Present in every sweet mass of dough;

That my mother left lying around.

 

Of all the great flowers, which one should I pick;

To call my most favorite of all?

The blue ones and pink ones, they all make me sick;

But the powdered one’s got me enthralled.

 

Lilacs and lilies, carnations or crocus;

Belong in some boring bouquet.

Bleached out and ground down wheat’s bloom helps me focus;

When sugared and baked the right way.

 

You can have your roses, keep your rhododendron;

They don’t taste good in Twinkies or toast.

Petals blowing in the breeze just don’t sound like much fun;

When compared with the flour I love most.


© 2010 mcg03002



Author's Note

mcg03002
Have at it! Oh, and, note the difference between flower and flour if it doesn't make sense to you on the first read-through.

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Featured Review

I love it when writers break the mold and take a road we wouldn't expect from them. I figured this would be an ode to say a daisy, but you left me pleasantly surprised. Very nice. The flow of this poem is very smooth. I love the line about Twinkies and toast. It adds a comic aspect to your flour.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

How creative! This poem has a very "innocent" and child-like feel to it. I love the way you crafted this :)

"Of all the great flowers, which one should I pick;
To call my most favorite of all?
The blue ones and pink ones, they all make me sick;
But the powdered one’s got me enthralled."

My favorite stanza. Well written. Very good job with the rhyme. It makes it even more interesting when you rhymed ordinary words with flower names like crocus and rhododendron. Lovely work :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


mcg,

i like this one. rhyming works don't usually do it for me, because most rhymes seemed forced and distract from the message. however, this one is a success. i have only one nit: the final line ("with") i've always thought that one use "contrasted with" and "compared to". just a thought. nice work. keep writing.

sincerely,
jr

Posted 7 Years Ago


This is a clever write actaully:) I like it and must admit, it caused a smile, in a good way:)

That flour mothers leave lying around gets everywhere! lol Hugs xx

Posted 7 Years Ago


This poem is very cute and sweet; I've never compared the two flours/flowers, before. I feel that it is well written, but am wondering when you find the time to write. Am looking forward to more from you, in the future!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love it when writers break the mold and take a road we wouldn't expect from them. I figured this would be an ode to say a daisy, but you left me pleasantly surprised. Very nice. The flow of this poem is very smooth. I love the line about Twinkies and toast. It adds a comic aspect to your flour.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I enjoyed reading this. Yet it still brings to question, which 'flower' is your favorite? Is the dislike for flowers a reflection of experience with them? Word of advice, lay off the Twinkies and stick to the toast. :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like this a lot, very clever. I was thinking perhaps you were going to say something about wheat's flowers since they have them (they're just not brilliant, grand and really noticeable) but love the ending and the play on the words flower/flour!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I loved this take on your favorite flower (flour) It is perfect

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oh, a good laugh is always the best thing to end a too-long day with! The match of crocus and focus had me near-to falling out of my chair! I love the double-entendre use of "flower" and "flour". Going home in a few minutes to make one of my favorite "bouquets" of "flour": a long-simmering pot of chicken and dumplings! Thanks for this delectable tid-bit!

Posted 7 Years Ago


Overall, not bad. though I think the actual flow of the poem needs a bit of work, great idea though, I'm impressed.

Something Bad: I'm not sure if you meant to put "down" or "dawn" in the First Stanza, Second Line. The last Stanza, The first line would probably flow and look a lot better if you use proper parallelism. "You can have your roses, and can keep your rhododendron;" One last thing, a little confused - are you trying to eat the flowers?

Something Good: I love flowers, especially used in poetry - there's just something about them. I think they can represent absolutely any emotion, therefore they are beautiful. The way you used flowers so creatively in your work was refreshing. I also enjoyed that you kept it short, if you continued in the repetition and overuse of flower names would probably drag the poem down. However, I find its a perfect length and a great poem.

Keep Writing,
Melissa.

Posted 7 Years Ago



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584 Views
10 Reviews
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Added on April 12, 2010
Last Updated on April 13, 2010
Tags: funny, flower, flour, food, floral, sugar, twinkie

Author

mcg03002
mcg03002

Idaho Falls, ID



About
I am just a wannabe writer living in Idaho Falls. I work full time as a sales manager for a hotel. Here's a song I recorded for a dear friend. It's a cover of one of my absolute favorites. more..

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