The Boy With Big Green Eyes

She adored the boy with big green eyes,

even though people told her she should despise

him, but she wouldn't, she couldn't, she was in love,

she felt so happy, as high as a dove,

but soon she will look into his green eyes and see

just how bad the person you love can be.

He tolerated the girl who loved his green eyes,

who had a heart of gold, and would never despise

his manipulative ways, he could always be deceiving,

for she would get upset, but then her heart would be receiving.

An example of this was when he cheated on her,

with a good looking girl, but as boring as a cat's purr.

He did it because he could, she would still stay with him, 

when any other girl would've ripped him limb from limb.

when she found out she was upset, but then looked into his eyes,

and thought, this is not a boy which I can despise.

She gave him yet another chance

when anyone else wouldn't have given him a glance.

After 3 years, she had finally had enough,

she said, "i'm leaving you now, how you feel is just too tough,

because you didn't care how I felt for 3 whole years."

Then she ran away and burst into tears.

He still misses her every day,

but she'll never listen to a word he will say.

In conclusion, don't take love for granted,

even if it looks like your love is enchanted.

Oh now how the girl will demise

the handsome boy with big green eyes.

Reviews

[AK]

Very nice poem!
I really like your style of writing story poems with the last stanza starting with 'In conclusion..'
I just noticed that the rhyming in the poem seems very forced. Like when you say 'As high as a dove' it really seems forced. High? Dove? Doesn't make sense. You can still use dove as it symbolises love and make a creative line out if it. There are many more places where it seems forced like 'deceiving and receiving','her and purr' and 'chance and glance'.
The syllables in the poem are not consistent and hence make the poem sound very amateurish. Make a syllable chart and change the lines that don't fit in the pattern.
'when any other girl would ripped him limb from limb'. Read it again and you'll find a grammatical error. Please change it to something like 'when any other girl would've ripped him limb from limb'.
I would also appreciate if you could make the last stanza a bit more strong.
Have a good day!
Akanksha Suresh

[Angelic Surrender]

This is a wonderful work. I really like it.

[closed..acct]

Wow I just loved the word power.
Such an amazing rhyme scheme and flow.
Awesome write.

[Elizabeth]

Perfect, Another amazing Poem. Thanks Michael!