Just Keep Walking

Monologue of one of my anxious thoughts with myself

Sometimes the emptiness of what's inside you takes over what's supposed to fill you. Walls so far up guarding who you are that not even you know who you are.. but we keep going with a smile on our face and just keep walking so we don't have explain that we don't know why we are empty inside but yet we know we are. We don't have to explain that being alone is not a literal statement it is the fact that even in a crowd of people you still feel like no one is there for you. Keeping up your life while damaging who you are just to feel something, anything, turns around to people judging who you are for what you do to yourself. You loose respect for yourself Bc you got super drunk at a party and a guy touched you Bc you didn't say no. You walk away from the situation feeling like you're nothing. But you tell your friend don't say anything Bc you're embarrassed and there would be absolutely nothing worse than his girlfriend finding out that he cheated so you live with the fact that you were touched unwantingly. You try to forget it by taking medications or pretending you were too drunk to remember but all it does is bring up the fact that your innocence was taken in second grade when your class mate tells you to touch personal places Bc it's normal and you do it Bc you don't know what the hell is happening so for the rest of your life you spend it knowing things you shouldn't at a young age and you are "that girl" the easy girl the girl that will just "do stuff" the one they spread rumors about Bc hey it's true anyways.. right? Wrong. It's not. But it's so easy to start a conversation about someone then having to look at them and ask them if they are the s**t you're about to portray them as. Needless to say you feel worthless. Like nothing. So you put on your smile, and just keep walking.

Author's Note

Ignore any grammar mistakes or mispelled words, thoughts on it?

Reviews

[Jibey]

I touching and moving piece of reflection on the impact of another's actions and inappropriate behaviour... The unbroken flow of words and thoughts helps to bring it all home and if this is based on experience I hope that spilling it onto the page and sharing it helps...

[MCVanZandt]

Thank you so much. It does help a lot thank you for taking the time to read and comment on it.