The End of the World of Me

I had a dream that I was dying. I guess it means that I am pretty screwed up because I called it a dream not a nightmare.

In violent beliefs,

My sanity is broken.

Grandiose relief

Seems to pour from words unspoken.

 

It shakes my whole foundation

And pierces me to my core.

I can smell the burning nation

and hear them at my door.

 

In dark corners I hide,

And feel the world crumble.

From mistakes of the past I've shied.

I try to run but only stumble.

 

Locked in endless struggles, I cower

As I watch the countries fall.

nations of untold power

Are now pitiful and small.

 

I'm confined to an unsafe shelter

As the earth is destroyed.

All order is helter skelter,

All promises null and void.

 

The world is ending.

I hide among the ashes.

My madness is rescending.

My life goes by in flashes.

 

My mind accepts I'm a dead man.

From my body, gone is all fight.

But I can feel the fatherly hand,

Lifting me to the light.

Author's Note

tell me honestly what you think.

Reviews

[CD]

It paints a vivid picture.One of turmoil,grief,and surrender...
Sometimes the thought of dying seems welcoming,but then you think of all the wonders of life and the fact that you,actually you were put here for a purpose you kinda think again.Nobody can acclomplish what you can in your lifetime.Only you can.Life is a gift.You can do what you want with it.I think i'll live mine...

[Cheryl]

At times, we all have dreams or thoughts such as these. But, what I like about this piece is the way it ends. Even with all hell breaking loose around you, no matter how awful things look, you are able to focus on that Hand reaching for you, your only Hope!

[KristaK]

This was a beautiful poem. I really like the way you set it up with the rhymes.

The world is ending.
I hide among the ashes.
My madness is rescending.
My life goes by in flashes.

Wonderful, I really like this one. Keep up the amazing poetry.

[CourtNny]

"Nations of untold power
Are now pitiful and small."

Is my F A V O R I T E line in this poem. Your words are so beautiful! I feel as if you and I relate a lot...I use to write like that but I lost a lot of my motivation. It's amazing what a poet can accomplish with a broken heart, sadly...mine has mended.
You use your emotions so wisely.

[Michael X]

This was an excellent poem, that I had to remove all the "my" and
some of the "I" and only to justify the vision, you've captured the wording
with excellent perception, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading the depth

In violent beliefs,
sanity is broken.
Grandiose relief
Seems to pour from words unspoken.

It shakes whole foundations
And pierces to the core.
I can smell the burning nation
and hear them at the door.

In dark corners heart hides,
And feel the world crumble.
From mistakes of the past I've shied.
I try to run but only stumble.

Locked in endless struggles, cowering
Watching the countries fall.
nations of untold power
Are now pitiful and small.

Confined to an unsafe shelter
As the earth is destroyed.
All order is helter skelter,
All promises null and void.

The world is ending.
hiding among the ashes.
madness is rescending.
life goes by in flashes.

Mind accepts I'm a dead man.
From body, gone is all fight.
But I can feel the fatherly hand,
Lifting soul to the light.

[Seriana]

Ahhh, this is wonderfully captured in a pleasant, easy rhyme. I liked the concept of what you wrote here. Delving into the sadness of despair, sifting through the ashes to come out on the other side in the light. Nicely done. :)
I do, however, think you could have arranged the verses in more even pattern/meter. It would make the flow read alot more fluidly. :)

[emz]

I thought this was really well written, It was quite a scary dream but with a beautiful ending

well done

[Legion]

Is now pitiful and small. - this should probably start with "Are" and not "Is".

I'm confined a unsafe shelter - should be "an" unsafe shelter


Rather pleasent ending amongst all the doom and gloom. Hope you don't have too many of these devastating dreams though. Would be very difficult to sleep.

[After Midnight]

Awesome. Now it flows like a story, like you are telling me the dream but...in poem form and less like a song. Also Nations of untold power ARE small not is and the word "to" is missing in the line after that but I really like it and no I don't think it is messed up that you called a dream and not a nightmare. Death doesn't have to be feared.

[Servant Ties]

I really like it, its very nice