november resentment

#6

someday she's gonna look at you and resent

someday, i just cant wait

she's gonna lose it all for you two

and soon decide you're not her fate

you're just a stone kicked down my street

you'll be alone and thrown red meat

and you'll be stuck in a blank stare

and realize that she don't care

you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,

so you lose

you know its all been said

and i will respect the dead

like you wouldn't even try 

it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me,

you stole from her

you're just a blur

my possession is your obsession

and it doesn't work that way,

just because your world is full of gray

and you can throw a dumb cheap slogan and say-

life it just happens

it was never yours anyway 

well i guess that goes both ways.

Reviews

[miahstr]

Well written, you exude power throughout the poem. I like that moment you describe... "it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me"... I can feel that person in that sentence... their pain at the realization of time wasted. Good work. Keep it up.

[mercy party]

thanks for your time! realizing the time wasted is sometimes worse than what happened. thanks for digging in.

[TPK Stories]

Resentment...it can haunt us if we're not careful....

[mercy party]

Indeed. Thank you

[ms. barrie]

stunning piece, there is indeed an powerful electric igniting throughout this lyrical piece. a subtle scratch upon the character that is left bleeding...wrought with elegance and fluidity, your ink always leaves an indelible impression upon reader’s.

thank you for sharing
—x — barrie

[mercy party]

Thank you so very much. i am happy this succeeded in evoking an understanding for you. i do appreciate your very kind review.

[ms. barrie]

you’re very welcome, mercy :)

[Poetic License]

The power and strength in this poem is outstanding. There are the tracings of pain, of scars still tender and raised - not quite toughened yet, but covering and protecting the wounds that had once been there.

I love this line, especially.

"you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose"

Wow. If this is not the world's most eloquent "I told you so" and "you got exactly what you deserved," I don't know what is.

Linguistically, I love this piece. I love the contrast of the deep and flowing eloquent thought, the strength of the statement and the plain ole' grammatically incorrect phrasing. Such a tasty blend, perfectly balanced.

Your final stanza absolutely stole the show. I appreciate this sentiment and the punch is unequaled. I can taste the validation and the release, the casual, disinterested "bird" as you're walking away, leaving the other to reap what was sown.

Love this piece. Kudos x100. Well done.

[mercy party]

well, i am very happy and humbled by such a terrific review!! thank you for taking the time with this. I appreciate it all so much! Thanks!

[Poetic License]

Happy to do so!

[Farmgirl]

ooooooohhhhh Snap !!!!

You totally broke this wide open for me and my enjoyment lol

[mercy party]

Well I'm am so glad for that. Thank you!

[Farmgirl]

Very powerful ! Thank you..

[Kristina Moulaison]

Great stuff! Love,
"and soon decide you're not her fate
you're just a stone kicked down my street" and "you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use" and "it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me." Brilliant writing! ... must read more.

[mercy party]

Thank you! :)

[Island Hippy]

Very powerful write here, the fact that you marked this on the calendar amplifies the feeling of bitterness and an appetite for revenge. It's a punch in the face when we realise how we squandered our own time, losing that year I think is the crux of the disillusionment.

Ps. I'm starting to think you're writing an awesome album.

[mercy party]

time will tell

[mercy party]

and thank you again for an awesome review!

[B]

Nothing like having someone take our valuable time and wrecking that
i choose to always just let it all pass

I see so much intensity in your work
Pretty interesting

[mercy party]

letting it pass does eventually feel more victorious. Thank you so much for your great review.

[natalie]

You will never know the effects of these words on my mother......She feels like like you wrote this for her!!Her birthday is November!!

[mercy party]

thank you. that is very cool.

[Falcon1]

Never meant to be not written in history the breakup was big the story of your life and so many others. Life is what you make it and only you can make it better.

[mercy party]

thanks for those words, a needed reminder.

[Giulia King]

"it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me" Powerful words!

[mercy party]

thank you identifying power, it means a great deal. thank you for the confidence!!