november resentment

november resentment

A Poem by mercy party
"

#6

"

someday she's gonna look at you and resent
someday, i just cant wait
she's gonna lose it all for you two
and soon decide you're not her fate

you're just a stone kicked down my street
you'll be alone and thrown red meat
and you'll be stuck in a blank stare
and realize that she don't care

you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose

you know its all been said
and i will respect the dead
like you wouldn't even try 
it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me,
you stole from her
you're just a blur

my possession is your obsession
and it doesn't work that way,
just because your world is full of gray
and you can throw a dumb cheap slogan and say-
life it just happens
it was never yours anyway 
well i guess that goes both ways.

© 2017 mercy party



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Featured Review

Well written, you exude power throughout the poem. I like that moment you describe... "it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me"... I can feel that person in that sentence... their pain at the realization of time wasted. Good work. Keep it up.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

thanks for your time! realizing the time wasted is sometimes worse than what happened. thanks for di.. read more



Reviews

The power and strength in this poem is outstanding. There are the tracings of pain, of scars still tender and raised - not quite toughened yet, but covering and protecting the wounds that had once been there.

I love this line, especially.

"you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose"

Wow. If this is not the world's most eloquent "I told you so" and "you got exactly what you deserved," I don't know what is.

Linguistically, I love this piece. I love the contrast of the deep and flowing eloquent thought, the strength of the statement and the plain ole' grammatically incorrect phrasing. Such a tasty blend, perfectly balanced.

Your final stanza absolutely stole the show. I appreciate this sentiment and the punch is unequaled. I can taste the validation and the release, the casual, disinterested "bird" as you're walking away, leaving the other to reap what was sown.

Love this piece. Kudos x100. Well done.

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

well, i am very happy and humbled by such a terrific review!! thank you for taking the time with thi.. read more
déaþscúa

6 Months Ago

Happy to do so!
ooooooohhhhh Snap !!!!

You totally broke this wide open for me and my enjoyment lol

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

Well I'm am so glad for that. Thank you!
Farmgirl

6 Months Ago

Very powerful ! Thank you..
Great stuff! Love,
"and soon decide you're not her fate
you're just a stone kicked down my street" and "you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use" and "it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me." Brilliant writing! ... must read more.

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

Thank you! :)
Very powerful write here, the fact that you marked this on the calendar amplifies the feeling of bitterness and an appetite for revenge. It's a punch in the face when we realise how we squandered our own time, losing that year I think is the crux of the disillusionment.

Ps. I'm starting to think you're writing an awesome album.

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

time will tell
mercy party

6 Months Ago

and thank you again for an awesome review!
Nothing like having someone take our valuable time and wrecking that
i choose to always just let it all pass

I see so much intensity in your work
Pretty interesting

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

letting it pass does eventually feel more victorious. Thank you so much for your great review.
You will never know the effects of these words on my mother......She feels like like you wrote this for her!!Her birthday is November!!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

thank you. that is very cool.
Never meant to be not written in history the breakup was big the story of your life and so many others. Life is what you make it and only you can make it better.

Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

thanks for those words, a needed reminder.
"it took seeing november on the calendar to grasp the year you stole from me" Powerful words!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

thank you identifying power, it means a great deal. thank you for the confidence!!
There's the saying "happiness is the best revenge" and then there's this!

I like how it doesn't pull punches. The anger, resentment and betrayal slap the reader in the face.

favs

you're just a stone kicked down my street

you were just a soft landing she was never even planning to use,
so you lose

I also like the somewhat real warning at the end, that women like that are not steadfast, and her imagination, restlessness and whim will likely carry her from him just as from you.

Least, that's my interpretation of it.

Good stuff.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

thanks for the motivational perspective. Your review(s) always help me sort things out in my brain. .. read more
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...
a desire for revenge...bitterness washes over you in waves. Good poem.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
mercy party

8 Months Ago

thank you, and thank you!

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Added on January 22, 2017
Last Updated on January 28, 2017


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