soon and clean

soon and clean

A Poem by mercy party
"

#9

"
soon and clean
this will end and you can have your new thing,
we're dead you see
you shouldn't have tipped the scales 
now i'm not worth a double back
just the one who you call your side project.

i'm dead on my feet
empty and finished
played out and run down
wasted and so fed up now
you're fired up, intoxicated
breathless and elated
wild, wired, tumultuous 
and there's nothing left of us

wont you to admit you're in love and what was said in the beginning
what i lived, you're not in tune to it and it seems like you're forgetting

any chance has long passed for the outsiders, the outcasts and me
when the insomniac sleeps with everyone except you
there's nothing that you need to be thinking through.

© 2017 mercy party



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Featured Review

I especially liked "i'm dead on my feet" and "you're fired up, intoxicated/breathless and elated/wild, wired, tumultuous/ and there's nothing left of us"

That stanza sums up the end of relationship when you see your partner falling for someone else. Gah, that has to hurt so much. Beautiful and relatable.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

thank you. with 3 more poems left in this saga, it is just about summed up, few more run ins and a c.. read more



Reviews

Aloha, very powerful poem. The pain claws at you it's that good. Your closing lines are masterful wraps it all up with a kick in the guts. Izzy

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

thanks for saying. i'm glad it could pronounce clearly and precisely what it was. :)
Island Hippy

6 Months Ago

You're welcome
The bad boy never f*cks where his heart lies. 😉
Respect is earned, not given.
Excellent read.

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

thank you! :)
I love that last stanza the most. though the one above it was a little hard to read but maybe that's just me.
This poem is epic, not like I first thought it would be.
Very well done~!

Posted 6 Months Ago


mercy party

6 Months Ago

Thank you for your critique, i really appreciate it!
Bluefire

2 Months Ago

You're welcome
MP,

The story develops and feelings continue to spill. Though sad, I am enjoying reading these.

This was an incredible line:

when the insomniac sleeps with everyone except you

This one needs a re-look:

what i lived, you're not it tuned to it and it seems like you're forgetting

Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

will re-look ( i see it now) and thank you for looking out. so glad you are reading these sad littl.. read more
Ana Papaya

8 Months Ago

it's my pleasure to read these sad little scenarios, they make me feel better about my own sad life... read more
WOW.....tipping the scales, and there is nothing to be thinking through..Your style is ahead of it"s time...I love it!!

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

you are too kind, Thank you
the last two lines made me pause, really well said. And yes, one way or the other, we're all dead. A powerful sigh of your mind, dear author, is it a sigh of life or death, i guess everyone decides for themselves. Loved this.

Posted 8 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

mercy party

8 Months Ago

I thank you for that.
deep thoughts!
beautiful lines..
"i'm dead on my feet
empty and finished
played out and run down
wasted and so fed up now
you're fired up, intoxicated
breathless and elated
wild, wired, tumultuous
and there's nothing left of us"
kudos!


Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

thank you very much!
The anger and agony that surrounds and gulps us when a relation ends bitterly is uniquely brought out here.
Strong emotions! I must say your wordplay is very unique, every word of it. One can feel it. Very well done mercy party. Thanks for sharing..

Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

much thanks! so glad you got something out of it.
I agree with Octavia. Snap snap snap. It hit my heart.

Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

so glad, and thank you for your time!
"when the insomniac sleeps with everyone except you"
powerful line...powerful poem..

you do this kind of poem so well...no one wants to be a "side project"---

Posted 8 Months Ago


mercy party

8 Months Ago

unless its a band, it's all good, right? Hey thanks for the review. i appreciate your words.

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Added on January 25, 2017
Last Updated on April 11, 2017


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