Existence

One of my jerkier poems. I never feel my works flow nicely. Oh well, I guess this one was supposed to be chaotic, it's not exactly pleasing in tone.

We are mere subjects
Birthed beyond will
Objects of logic
Deceived of untruth

Of pseudo-wise elder;
We are but free
Groomed to behave
Victims of mimicry

Bring forth all nihil
Extract us from law
Nature be damned
Existence is war

Reviews

[Holly Soques]

Same as below, I particularly enjoyed how you summed up the poem with the oxymoron of 'existence is war' because it really is, whichever way you look at it. If you try to make peace, then the world with all its preconceived traditions will consume you whole until you are nothing more than another 'victim of mimicry', while if you don't, it will inevitably seem as if the world is against you and obstacles arise wherever you look, but in doing so one will achieve true 'existence' of the spirit. Good job! Also, the concept of being 'birthed beyond will' is particularly striking because no one is, of course, ever warned of their upcoming birth, and nor does anyone have any choice in the matter. Thanks for sharing this, it was really great, and the flow works well with the subject matter involved.

[DarkestSpirit15]

this is an amazing peice. you have some great talent. keep up the good work.

[Daniela May]

I love existence is war, that's a really powerful closing line xx