Gluteus Maximus

Gluteus Maximus

A Poem by fred

in biology in evolution a very important muscle


Gluteus Maximus


When that ape-man walked out onto the savannah

In his fancy, new fangled ,upright manner

Many dangerous animals lay in wait

Armed with knives and forks and plates.


But then all the wild dogs barked a warning

Which got the squawking parrots talking

“Oh look at that funky monkey walking.”

And that’s when hyenas started laughing.


So he spotted the leopard in the tree

He didn’t look a bit like fruit

Eyed the eagle high in the sky

Saw through the wolfs cheap sheep suit


And that tricky looking cheetah’s

Just a lion in disguise

He can change his pretty features

But he cant hide his lion eyes


But that early ape man had a plan

most wonderful.. most cunning

This seemingly simple walking man

Simply started. running.


And on and on he ran and ran

10.000 years and more

From the Rift valley where it all began

To California’s shining shore.


And all the while along the way

this running man was hunting

And all the while along the way

He did a spot of gathering


so trying to avoid the hungry apes

In that dim and distant past

Is how the zebra got his stripes

And why gazelles are fast


Why rabbits are so nervous

They know they should be stew!

Prickly porcupines are impervious

“I wouldn’t eat me…. Why should you? “


only one thing ever got him flustered

he couldn’t tell stork from bustard!!


 Eating hoof on the hoof

He was always on the move

The only time he ever sat down

Was for the 6 o-clock gnus


Now after 2 million years of evolution

We’ve turned that muscle into a cushion

So don’t get in that car! get off that bus!

Maximise your gluteus!!!


© 2013 fred

My Review

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Informational, inspirational, and entertaining- good job! Best...

Posted 5 Years Ago


5 Years Ago

so glad you liked it
Well done, Doc. I can`t stop. I`ve got to walk. The car won`t start. P.

Posted 5 Years Ago

You know that ape-man theory is still argued over. Maybe there'd been such a creature but that isn't man today. I'd love for you to teach me more.

Posted 5 Years Ago

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.

5 Years Ago

you want me to teach you about evolution??
The soundest advice I heard in recent times. Good for you Doc!

Posted 5 Years Ago


5 Years Ago

thanks divya
It's the first time the Doc has ever sent me a read request for another writer. I decided he's either lost the plot (sorry doc), or your poem was really good.
Phew, your poem is really good. Lot's of good humour throughout.

Posted 5 Years Ago

Loved this!

Posted 5 Years Ago

"The wolf in sheep's cheap suit" its a poor disguise. Enjoyed it thoroughly.

Posted 5 Years Ago

I like the quirky, giggly imagery.

P.S with wolf in sheep's cheap suit. nice touch doc.

Posted 5 Years Ago

Dr. Wood sent me and I'm so happy that he did, fantastically written poem that gave me a smile :)

Posted 5 Years Ago

Great poem...Really great......I will send this by request to all my friends....As soon as the damn thing starts to work properly, there sometimes are a few glitches on this site

Posted 5 Years Ago

Shannen Forrester

5 Years Ago

Thanks for bringing me here :)

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20 Reviews
Added on March 3, 2013
Last Updated on March 3, 2013



northampton, United Kingdom

Hi, I came here to read other writers aiming to be inspired,( I can write in short bursts but the periods of hiatus are long) and I’m aiming high, perhaps too high. At the greatest quatrain ever.. more..


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