Generically Depressed

 

Along the left side of my soul

I am torn beyond recognition;

Ripped and twisted and slowly decomposing.

My tears flow in silent meaningless rushes of tide

like backyard rivers in a thunderstorm;

neither massive nor much noticed.

 

Memory is packed too full;

the good memories tangled with bad

and all coated with the red clay of home

that serves to confuse what is recent .

 

Pouting doesn’t suit me well anymore;

not a moody young willow but faded, jaded,

fatigue visible like vines that hang and wilt in the sun.

Roots destructively grown

into the mortar between stones;

Roots destructively formed within these bones.

 

Without the good grace to go insane

nor the fragility to be darkly, deeply depressed;

I am only tired

and rusted with destructive thoughts

that will never help nor hinder anyone.

 

Leaning forward against the wind

I take comfort in the warmth of summer’s rains,

And pray foul ashes and dirt will soon enough blend.

 

Reviews

[LR Young]

there's some lovely imagery here.. and the line fall is opaquely beautiful through the third stanza's "grown/stone/bone," and thereafter the flow sort of ceases into a mounting use of "I" which explains things. It's the difference between showing and telling really -- words like "insane" seem almost jarring here. And "darkly, deeply, depressed" does not provide the same grace as the previous three richly beautiful stanzas; It's too obvious. There's little to experience or imagine when it's laid out... what does being deeply, darkly depressed look and feel like? If the above stanzas are already standing in for this idea, then you are repeating yourself needlessly... I think with just a bit of reworking, this could become a dark and smooth, powerful piece.

[J.M]

Fantastic imagery and very cleverly written. Not like a lot of the depression poems i've read - less raw emotion and more...fading, tiredness. This was beautifully expressed and a really nice poem to read - thanks for sharing it.

[Ladysue]

Poignant indeed! This really was exceptionally done. I love how you piece this with. It touched me. Outstanding writing...

[Ruth]

Metaphor heaven! lol This is truly stunning work friend!
Never easy to word thoughts such as these, but you have created an atmosphere that is powerful xx

[TL Boehm]

for what ever reason - the first two stanzas of this piece resonate the most deeply with me...maybe they just remind me of growing up in the south - but I also loved the line "without the good grace to go insane..." all in all a deep poem. Well done.

[Donald Meikle]

This perfectly fits the title. The backyard rivers in thunderstorm,as unnoticed as tears running through red clay and being too sad to sort memories, but not too sad to really whine. It's why we invented whisky.

[Life is A"Musing"]

This is a profoundly moving piece. The images you share through the well-chosen metaphors are intensely poignant, as well as so very much relatable. I have a diag. of chronic depression...maybe because of the terminal illness, LOL.
I too take comfort in the knowledge that every day has something good in it.
I wish bright days for your future always Mim!
Great expressive write ~ Judi :-) xo

[Gandré]

When the past wouldn't leave, o life of lyric comletes the edifice of our wail. Mimi, how are you? I This was not too dramatic and that's what I like, it wouldn*t draw me into a negative space, even every arm is cold or numb yet the body is ablaze for the now and future. How are your studies? Write me about it.

[Emily B]

just a note to let you know that I came by looking for something new to read . . . I hope all is well with you.