Sweet and Sad Goodbye

for Kelly

It had been a solid year,
but when you heard I was back,
you came a hundred miles in that old black truck,
to see just one more of my smiles,
you said, with your shirttail halfway tucked,
tee shirt and worn out shoes,
half a year from your last haircut.

You hadn’t changed and neither had I,
you said. You held me like the long lost lover
I saw in your dark eyes.
You wouldn’t let me go, not now, not ever,
you said, as you crushed me to you;
both of us wanting what we once had.

I looked up and even the angle was still mine,

almost too good to be true,
to touch the silky blackness of your hair,
the softness of your lips,
the solidity of muscles beneath your skin.

I knew that you’d be gone forever,
     I lingered on your shoulder,
          I held you that much longer,
               you were surprised that I would cry.

We told each other just that one time,
     All the reasons we loved each other,
          Then we said one last sweet and sad goodbye.

 

Reviews

[Ebby]

I looked up, even the angle was still mine,

This line is outstandingly poignant, and portrays images of such deep intimacy.

I lingered on your shoulder,
I held you that much longer,

I love the lingered/longer combination, it rolls fatly from the tongue, overindulgence of sounds, delicious.

And you were surprised that I would cry.

This is breezy, with all the 'eye' sounds. For something so sad, so resigned to be written so lightly, so generously, shows true talent.

Mimi, this is wonderful, five stars. :)
Kindest regards.

[Imperfection]

This was so painful, the first time I went through it.
I don't know why, but I was expecting this to have a "lived-happily-ever-after" kind of an ending.
The last goodbye left me kind of shocked.

On my second read, I couldn't help but relate it to my life and I realized then that I would like the ending to be just the way you've written it above. Like they say--"all good things must come to an end"

This has touched my heart.

[Lydia Shutter]

The poignancy of this write is overwhelming, Mimi!

"I knew that you'd be gone forever, " Heavy sigh! The imagery of his hair, his eyes, his "Half a year from" the last haircut....Incredibly vivid and eloquently written.

Wonderful work! Lydia

[Gabrielle E. M. T.]

This is a very beautiful poem. This piece has a very nice rythme and flow to it. I enjoyed reading this very much. So much emotion. I loved it. Wonderfully written. Excellent work. Great job1 =]

[Francesca]

:O:O:O:O:O:O

I LUV THIS POEM!

its so sweet and it's well written too :) becoming one of my favorites

[krisliane]

it is challenging to write about love, but you do it here.
the imagery is strongest in the first stanza and so it is set up well.
the last stanza, though full of emotion, loses a little due to lack of imagery.
i love the use of 'you said'.
thanks for this. i know it is challenging to write about love.

[Erotic Goddess]

ok, I totally hope you are not offended, but this was totally Brokeback Mountain for me. And I do not mean this as an insult. I loved that movie more than you can imagine and this totally brought to mind the most moving scene of the movie other than the end. Thank you!

[Jhadelin Amor Visayan]

This could be my real story.
I feel sad now because it brings back memories of my past.
These lines spoke the most for me:

We told each other just that one time,
All the reasons we loved each other,

Because we did this before we split.
Thank you for writing this beautiful poem.

[Wulfstan Crumble]

This love lost is minus the labour which makes it all the easier to read. The poem flows really well and is engaging throughout. Overall it is a sad poem that matches its title. But did you know Shakespeare wrote a sequal? Loves Labour Won?

[Helen Woodward]

Great write, I wanted it to go on...more information! You know, I've never understood this kind of mentality...two people in love, but can't be together, wanting to live apart, sweet and sad is right! I hear this a lot and can't grasp it's meaning.
Is it like two scorpio's living together? That would be either Heaven or Hell! All that ego...
I would love it if you could explain this to me?
Cheers,
Helen.

[Narnie]

Oh no - why did they say goodbye? I want to know, d****t. lol.. a beautiful poem and you can see that I loved the flow and didn't get bored for a second. Great job.