Tomas's Story

Should I make a book of Tomas's adventure?

       It was cold outside. It was snowing badly. "A Canadian winter, in New Jersey?" Tomas asked himself. 

      

       "It's because of Hurricane Sandy, rock-for-brains." The girl walking with him said. It was Liz, his best friend. He couldn't help but think about how her hair was blown perfectly. Her beautiful blonde hair..... He shook his head out of dream-land.

       "Hear that? That's the sound of brains not rocks" She laughed at that joke and so did he. 

      "We should hurry, I have to be home by seven!" Liz said. "I don't think we can." Tomas said, pointing to the door. Liz gasped! The door was frozen shut! They were stuck in the grocery store.

      "Lets ask Mr. Brudwik if we can use his phone." Tomas suggested. They started towards his office.'

Reviews

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XD The first paragraph kinda rhymed. I love it because it has to do what's going on in the world right now ( Hurricane Sandy ). And in the last sentence, there is a smallll mistake. Right after the last paragraph ended, there is a small mark. I don't know if it's my computer screen though :O

And, please do make it into a adventure!!! I know it would be ah-mazing! :P