Chapter 1-Ryan

      I took John behind a boulder and gave him a dagger. John was only 10 so I didn't think he could use anything else. He was small, yet well built. He had brown hair, green eyes, and he was tall for his age, about 5'5".

      I have blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and I'm pretty well built myself. I'm 17. Julia and I grew up together. She is 15. She has beautiful black hair, dreamy blue eyes, and the cutest smile. I have a huge crush on her. 

     When I was 5 the monsters started coming. That's when HE showed up. My father. The god of war. Ares. He gave me 2 swords, one for me and one for Julia. He told me that if i wanted to live than Julia and I would have to make it to Greece. Then, when he left and the swords shortened. They are magic swords. They fit perfectly in mine an Julia's hands but no one else could use them. 

   I walked over to Julia's side, ready for the monster to charge. It didn't charge. It disappeared. I smiled. Then a sharp metal tip went through my gut. Julia's face was so scared. I looked down. It was her spear. I looked behind me and saw John, then a bright light. I heard John laughing then Julia crying and yelling out "RYAN!!!!!"

Reviews

[Tomislav Petricevic]

I like this. I'm really looking forward to seeing further development of the story.
Oh, and if I was looking for a needle in a haystack, then I would have to tell you that there are a few more minor grammar mistakes beside that Ares thing. But I'm not, because I think that a few grammar mistakes are nothing to be minded.
Cool book, bro! :D

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

In the the third paragraph. "The god of war, Ares."

Everything else is good. Just that one line needs to be fixed.

I can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Wow. That's really good! It reminds ne of the hunger games a bit! Very good write ;)