Agony

Story of broken heart, dreams unaccomplished,

She was conceived in the womb

Soon was the celebration of her bloom

 

Happiness was her friend all around

Tears and moan were never her sound

 

Born in an open nest

Flying high was her quest

 

Soon came the time to fly

Chopped were her wings before a try

 

Doors of life paved way for darkness

Purpose of existence left aimless

Author's Note

Have tried to attempt a small request from a friend. Suggestions are welcome. Special Thanks to my friend Chirag Kumar on cafe suggesting me a better conclusion with his perfect words. Thank you

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad ending to the poetry.
"Soon came the time to fly
Chopped were her wings before a try "
You left the reader with sad place and ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Brian F. Lockard]

Top notch. Sad, but top notch lol. Keep it up.

-Brian

[Arjun Singh]

This is a creative nd gd write...
Might I sigst dt u wrk on d length a bit, nd I can assure top grade poetry...
:)

[Mitali Shah]

Thanks Arjun will surely try to work on it and my next piece :)

[Robert]

Sounds like this person cannot ot wont leave their home.I may be wrong but that is how I interpreted the piece. You did well for your friend.

[AaronFreitas]

Nice work my friend... I like the story like the wording. Very enjoyable read :)

[Mitali Shah]

Thanks you s much Aaron :)

[Saddam]

Doors of life paved way for darkness
Purpose of existence left aimless

The free pen on the conditions.
Nearly can found the story at every place here.
Great one, and impressive too. We must think on it.

[Mitali Shah]

Thank you so much Saddam

[KWP]

sounds like someone got married off into the life of a wife but really she is not a caged bird .. for birds are not meant to be caged they - like all of us - are meant to fly ... nice wording X

[Mitali Shah]

Thanks KWP birds are not to be caged but here the bird is caged.

[Jamestown]

Well penned!
Love the free flowing thoughts and rhythm
of this piece, thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Mitali Shah]

Thank you so much James :)

[wordman]

her wings was cut before she tried,sounds like you was pre destined