Stripped

 

My soul stands bare before you

You gaze with a critical eye,

Harshly absorbing me,

My essence quickly inhaled.

Tasting my sorrow and

Warmed by my passion,

I dance before you with

No music but the beating

Of my burning, pulsing heart.

 

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

i already reviewed this ,still i want to do it again..
you stood there and i before you..i know that gaze in your eyes
your eyes harshly poking deep inside..i feel all the sorrow still with passion
they make me dance before you..dance to no sound but the beating of
my burning troubled heart..still cant see what to make of you..
this is lovely and nice..

[bluessadmood]

What lovely so emotional words
I danced for you with no music by beats of my heart
I stood bare before you,your gaze so critical of me
Absorbing me,my essence quickly inhaled
you taste my sorrows and I warm you with my passion
lovely write..

[zer0]

A great, short piece of free verse poetry.

The staccato rhythm is good, it flows quite well.

The imagery, especially the way you've compacted it into so few lines, is potent and vivid.

The language use is simple but still quite eloquent.

Great work. Keep it up.