Final Pyre

Description of a time with heavy depression that nearly broke me... Blaming hating myself for not being strong and able to do the things I used to do...

From the fire that scourges your mind
hurt feelings and doubt are intertwined.
Your memory filled with rows of pyres
which you fear may never expire:
Thus threatening to let the future afire
as your thought of the past never seem to tire.
- the memories that haunt your thought
are of deeds that cannot be unwrought!
The scourging fire in your heart, eats away,
devour every living thing along the way.
This punishment and self-abasement may seem
to deservingly underestimate your self-esteem!
Tortured by the slow and hungry flame
you long to be rid of all feelings of shame
for which you are indisputedly to blame!
your talent now, is only to mame.
The voice of your hearts desire whispers so silently 
drowned in the screams that fester so violently 
to the beat of the noisy shouting of the mind
that refuses to leave past memories behind.

A wraith raging like an erratic fire,
walking the steps of her final pyre.
Raging like a cold and frigid fire,
no dreams, the body empty of all desire.
Fatigued, looking never to rise again 
weary of constantly having to feign
appearences of health and blissful tranquility;
eye's light extinguish with little culpability

Mai Lee Nissen, 2013

Author's Note

Picture digitally altered for this purpose: 'Negative' mode of painting
by Ditte Løfgren
http://ditteloefgren.com

I welcome any constructive criticism and suggestions

Reviews

[nazia]

It is appreciable that you now talk of a time that has been the low point of your life..

Really liked the way you described the emptiness of soul..
A wraith raging like an erratic fire,
walking the steps of her final pyre.
Raging like a cold and frigid fire,
no dreams, the body empty of all desire.

Excellent work :)

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you, Nazia! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :)

[J. K. Beach]

Powerful images here, Mai... especially that last stanza... "A wraith raging like an erratic fire,/walking the steps of her final pyre./Raging like a cold and frigid fire,/no dreams, the body empty of all desire." I see a scene from a movie, "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" where mad Lord Denthor rises from his funeral pyre in flames, runs through the White City, and throws himself off of the upper battlements, still in flames. So glad your eye's lights (and your beautiful pen hand) are still with us. Great work!

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you, J.K. Beach (can I in the future refer to you as Beach?).
Had not thought of 'The Lord of the Rings' when writing, but yeah, that scene is quite impressionable!

Well, I plan to be along for quite a while :)

[J. K. Beach]

You can call me Jeff, if you like... that's what the J. in J.K. is for... or you can call me Sandy, Shelly, or Sunny (Beach) XD

[Jamestown]

Great descriptive write, really indulges in the depression that was eating
at you, very sad and really unpleasant to imagine. I certainly don't know you,
but from your writes you don't seem to be a push over, that
being said, this had to be unbearable at times to go through!
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you for your kind words!
No, it was not among my greatest experiences and I really don't wish to relive any of it. Luckily, I know the signs and what to do now, so don't think that I will experience depression in such a heavy and painful degree in the future :)
Well,you can push me over, but I always get back up at some point.

[~]

Mai, you have scorched the reader with this hazardous fire. A sad picture of the struggles that people have to go through while depression is at its best.

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you for taking the time to read it! Your comments are much appreciated :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong and powerful words and emotions in the poetry.
"A wraith raging like an erratic fire,
walking the steps of her final pyre.
Raging like a cold and frigid fire,
no dreams, the body empty of all desire."
Fire can burn cold or hot. It is where we are standing. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry. I liked the complete poem.
Coyote

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you for reading and commenting, Coyote! It is much appreciated :) Glad you like it.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Poet.