Why

Why

A Poem by Michael
"

Sometimes you have to show it

"

Why

Why do i have to see this

See you with the people that brought them into the world

Hugging them

Showing they love them

Saying it is just not good enough

Anyone can say that

But not everyone does actually show it,

Being there would be good enough

Mine can’t even do that

The people that didn't bring me into this world have to take care of me

A burden they did not need

But they did it happily

Good and bad

Rough and smooth

I thank the man above every night for them

But there is always that hope

Just maybe

Maybe they’ll come to see their son

But i know the truth

It will never happen.

© 2018 Michael


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Featured Review

Your simple language and stream-of-consciousness style really underline the simple melancholy of this poem. That said, I find the pronoun usage a little confusing in the beginning. "You," "them," and "they" in the first 10 lines or so are so ambiguous that I had trouble parsing out who you were talking about until reading the second half of the poem for context. If you can find a way to make that first half more precise, this will be a very strong poem indeed.

Posted 5 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Michael

5 Years Ago

I'll work on that, thanks



Reviews

such a sad and a sympathetic poem it is.and i love it for its simple language and the feeling it conveys. however if you could make the beginning of it more powerful like the end i think it would become more successful.i have no major experiences in writing great poems on analysing them. i'm just telling you what i felt.keep it up dude! and good luck!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Your simple language and stream-of-consciousness style really underline the simple melancholy of this poem. That said, I find the pronoun usage a little confusing in the beginning. "You," "them," and "they" in the first 10 lines or so are so ambiguous that I had trouble parsing out who you were talking about until reading the second half of the poem for context. If you can find a way to make that first half more precise, this will be a very strong poem indeed.

Posted 5 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Michael

5 Years Ago

I'll work on that, thanks

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Added on May 10, 2018
Last Updated on May 10, 2018

Author

Michael
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A Poem by Michael


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A Poem by Michael