hopeless

my steps weighed on the sidewalk like stones.

with the help of the streetlights, it seemed as if someone had spilled glitter onto the snowy grass.

Orion's belt loomed above me in disappointment as I threw back two pills at a time.

everything that kept me up at night suddenly sank its claws into my legs,

trying to lure me into hell.

from across the street,

I watched my body bend like sunlight over a fence and scream into the most empty town I had ever wandered in.

I gazed into the eyes of the stars, hoping your soul was placed into one of them.

I knew you weren't proud of my self-destruction,

but after all this time I convinced myself that you could be.