Whisper of the Night

The only poem I managed to complete this year...oops

A whistle, the wavering tone, pierced through the night like a whisper on a breeze.

The wind carried his words to me, falling upon a still row of the deceased.

Pinching them by their cornered ears, I could feel them hum at my touch.

What bones branched from trees? What fruit could slake the thirst of my ill-conceived grudge?

In four days’ time I stood before the iron gates dressed in dour black for mourning

Where birds with scissor-beaks appeared to be adjourning

For a cause as dark as my beating heart and yet of a different, fouler hue

And the village’s messenger greeted me nonchalantly with a hoarse Thank You.

Ushered into a barren parlor, I declined the offered tea, ignorant

Of the displeased sneer- a guest such as I unpleasant

To no end as I absently stacked tea biscuits into a crooked stale tower

And my host’s composed facade dimmed gradually to a menacing glower.

Refusing to engage in conversation, we sat there silently until a light

Knock preluded a painted face that peered through the window before coming inside.

With a brisk whisk of layered skirts and a snap of a feathered parasol,

The village mayor’s daughter greeted me with a dismissive smile and eyes lined with kohl.

Minutes later, as I retreated from the secluded castle, I could have sworn I heard

A raspy offer of tea followed by the clatter of china and a subsequent - more musical shatter.

Dull thumps succeeded my footsteps as I stumbled through the bramble, scarcely missing

Two silhouettes that would emerge - one limp and silent and the other off-tune but whistling.

The next day, before the sun had fully risen, the village papers had already done their morning run

Branded boldly with a blurred image and the headline “Mayor’s Daughter: Gone”.

With all manners of suspicions of kidnapping and elopement detailed with great attention,

The excitement had all but overlooked a mad man’s obsession.

At noon that day I found myself again before the mansion’s gilded door

Twirling a strangely coloured feather and admiring a suit of rusting armour

That could be seen through the narrow windows, so hastily assembled

And empty handed, without a sword, as the doorway slightly trembled.

It’s you again, yellowed nails edged open the heavy door.

What do you want? he snarled dragging me into the halls of the manor.

But, by then my conscience had finally breathed its last - a lonely, desperate gasp from the dead:

Apples didn’t stain the ground a burnt red.

Have some tea, the baron coaxed, transforming - quite suddenly - into a hospitable host,

While the crows of yesterday that had crowded at the gates now sat diligently at their posts,

Mocking me as I recognized a familiar scent, stale yet sickly sweet:

The bloody sword had been hidden beneath my calloused feet!

The blade, forged from siren scales, sang sharply as I swung

Accompanied by a silenced shriek. A grotesque thunk. The doorbell rung.

I whistled, then, a certain tune- a tuneless tune- with the air tracing my lips like a phantom’s kiss.

And unable to suppress that haunting passion, I answered the door. Tea, Miss?

As time would have, more guests came and went, but I soon became the sole permanent tenant

Locked away with the fragments of the finest porcelain treasures, a remnant,

Of the times when a hand fashioned with nails a gruesome yellow could conjure

Horrors of a dream so foreign to the castle’s doors that stand no longer.

Yet, I remain, submerged in little else but the birds’ crowing chorus

And the shadows grow still darker in the midnight forest.

And I wonder feverishly if it all will end with this short glimpse of my plight:

A phantom's kiss, a tuneless whistle, and the whisper of the night.

Reviews

[Haunted Doll]

"the air tracing my lips like a phantom's kiss...." I loved this entire piece!!!!! It was intense, dark and yet had a very morbidly charming tone. You transitioned into each line wonderfully and I'm sitting here reading in the dark as my pores raised lol. This was amazing. Please keep on writing :} You are incredibly talented with your words :)

[Monica Chen]

Thank you for your encouraging comment :) this was my first time writing in a dark and haunting tone and I'm glad you found this poem morbidly charming :D

[Haunted Doll]

Hehe I am now a huge fan of your work! Trust me....you have quite a way with words and I hope you do more....I will enjoy reading each one my dear (^___^)

[Monica Chen]

Hahaha thanks so much! You'll probably find me a lot on your poetry's comments section as well :D

[Haunted Doll]

I'm gonna bust out all the good stuff because you are always welcome in my little corner :D
And I will be hovering around your poetry too hehehe (^-^)

[andrew mitchell]

A dark haunting write. I'm certainly not going camping with you, with you telling stories around the campfire. I love the last stanza which finished this write in the manner it deserved. Well written and entertaining.

[Monica Chen]

Luckily for you I'm the most unhappy camper you'll ever find -- nature's critters scare me more than ghost stories ever will... Thank you for reading this just before Halloween :D

[andrew mitchell]

lol happy critters i mean happy halloween!!

[Monica Chen]

Hahaha happy halloween to you too and I can't wait for all those noisy trick-or-treaters

[Wolf_Lord]

This is an awesome poem dear... However, it does not fit the qualifications of the contest (Poetry Challenge) which are to make a poem using the following words. Coral/Edge/Toes/Hard/Worry/Banjo/Willow/Car/Round/Sound If you wish to take a stab at it using the forum specified please feel free. I am however giving you a score of 100 on this poem. Very Nice.

[Monica Chen]

Oops I guess I forgot to read the contest description but thank you for your rating! :)

[PaintedBirdy]

This was fantastic! i like how dark it is but i found myself smiling while reading it and i think thats because i really enjoyed the rhythm of it and the range of words you used. great job! i honestly have no suggestions, it's pretty damn good!

[Monica Chen]

Thanks so much! I laughed at the last part of your comment xD

[Nessly]

Great work! My blood probably curdled while reading through these words.

"As time would have, more guests came and went, but I soon became the sole permanent tenant
Locked away with the fragments of the finest porcelain treasures, a remnant,
Of the times when a hand fashioned with nails a gruesome yellow could conjure
Horrors of a dream so foreign to the castle’s doors that stand no longer."

This stanza particularly stood out to me because it's so vivid. I felt the horrors and darkness with each passing line. It's so grim and dismal. It's like the narrator becomes consumed by this place before he realizes he's gone. Wickedly frightening.

[Monica Chen]

Glad you liked my poem! :D