Dreams of A Girl

When we grow as young

We meet our first love
and know it will last forever

Sometimes it does, Most of the time
We have to work at it and want it.

A woman wants true love
Promises that wont be broken
Someone to share things with

A man that treats her with respect
That gives his all
That is not afraid of letting people know, she is his

Someone that will be there
Through the bad times, as well as the good
Someone that says I Love you forever

That really means it
Someone honest and kind
That will protect her at all costs

That will be open to her
Give her a kiss or hug
No matter who is around

That will not walk away
When things get rough
Just stay and work it out together

An honest man gives a girl his heart
She will give him her soul
If she truly loves you

She will not make demands
Or be jealous of everyone
She will be loving and kind

He does not have to make much money
To make a girl happy
Just stand by her, being her man

A girl does not need a big house
She does not need a big ring
Or fancy clothes and big car

She just needs lots of kisses and hugs
Plenty of attention
Lots of good loving and you hold her hand

Reviews

[Vatsal Rohilla (account..]

That is quite deep. Well, I suppose, you gotta work on your grammar. It would be great if you replace the word "that" by "who". And, in the last line, it must be "Lots of love and you holding her hand".
Anyway, your poem is full of feeling and has got simplicity, which makes it universal and easy-to-understand. Good piece. Keep writing.

[Maria Tughu]

Thank you for reading I'm glad you enjoy :-)

[Lola Nad]

I noticed other people mentioning the "that" and "who" problem so I wont extend on it again. Instead I'll say that the theme is ageless and therefore easy to understand, be it for a guy or for a girl (might actually be educational for some guys so that's a great plus!) It's sweet, cute and simple so great work!
However, and it's only my personal opinion, I think that the flow is not quite there so maybe work on that?

[D Connolly]

The first thing I noticed was exactly what another reviewer shared; the use of the word "that" should be replaced with "who". "That" would describe a thing, whereas "who" describes a person. An example is "The hat THAT sits unmoving on the hallway hat rack" and "The man WHO decided to clean the dust off of the hat"

[SZHZIA]

Much emotional poem filled with sorrow. I enjoy it. :-)


Best
Szhzia

[Maria Tughu]

Thanks for reading! I am glad you enjoy it.

[SZHZIA]

You are welcome

[Karmee]

This is such an deep write full of feelings. Much enjoyed

[Maria Tughu]

Thanks for reading!

[GalaxyGhost]

I love this! Great message as I also love it when a guy gives me respect.

[Maria Tughu]

Thank you for your generous words. :-)