Just Passing Through

A stop at a desert diner.

Just Passing Through

by: moonlit cove

The diner has not been very busy on this particular evening.  The coffee pot has been sitting on its warming burner for almost three hours.  There are only two customers inside, both truck drivers that stop here regularly on their routes.  One is in a corner booth, the other sitting on a barstool at the far end of the counter.  Both enjoy their meals in silence and solitude.

The man in the booth stares out the window at the low setting sun over the desert horizon.  Hues of orange, pink and purple wash over the sky.  The desert plateaus and mountaintops are silhouetted black under the vivid colors in the atmosphere.  The man at the counter is hunched over a newspaper chewing intently, his fork suspended over his plate in anticipation of the next bite.

Janice Calloway wipes her greasy hands on her soiled apron before picking up an ink pen and signing her name on the check intended for the man in the booth.  She is sure to dot the “i” with a little heart shape, as always.  A cook can be seen chatting with the bus boy through the stainless steel framed window where completed food orders are placed for Janice to deliver.

As Janice walks over to hand the bill to the man in the booth, she hears the light tinkle of the bell above the entrance door behind her.  “Sit wherever you like.  I’ll be right with you,” she calls over her shoulder to the new customer.

Then to the man in the booth she says, “Thank you, Chris.  I’ll see you next time.”

Chris gives her a wide smile as she places the check on the table next to him.  “Yep, see you next week Janice,” he replies.

 

A frail-looking older gentleman has entered and slowly shuffles his way over to the counter.  He sits on a stool near the cash register.  Janice makes her way back behind the counter and approaches him.

“What can I get you to drink, hon?” she asks while placing a menu in front of him on the countertop.

“I’ll have a coffee.  And a glass of water, please.”  His voice is somewhat raspy.

“Comin’ right up!”  She turns toward the coffee pot.

The man picks up the single page laminated menu and flips it from the breakfast side to the dinner side.

“You know what?” Janice calls to the man, “If you don’t mind waitin’ a minute, I’m gonna make you a fresh pot.  This one’s been sittin’ a while.”

“That’s fine.  Thank you,” the man answers.

Janice proceeds to fill a glass with ice water and sits it in front of the man.  “Do you know what you’d like to eat?” she asks, standing with pen and order pad ready.  During this brief pause she takes note of the man’s features.  His brown eyes are deep set behind his black-frame glasses.  Upon closer inspection she notices the dark circles underneath them.  The man is wearing a leather newsboy style hat and a nicely pressed button up shirt.  His sunken cheeks are clean shaven and his mouth has a slight curl at both ends - a permanent smile, even as he performs a task as mundane as looking over a diner menu.

“Uh, let me get the patty melt, light on the onions, and a cup of vegetable soup.”

Janice writes this down on the pad and says in a pleasant voice, “Okay.  I’ll have that out to you shortly.”  She turns, tears the top sheet off of the order pad, clips it onto a rotating order carousel, spins it into the kitchen, and calls, “Order in!” to the cook who is no longer standing near the window.

The fresh coffee is almost finished brewing.  Janice readies a mug, warm from the washer.  “Do you want cream and sugar?” she asks the man.

“No.  Black is okay.”

When the coffee is ready she retrieves the carafe.  She places the mug in front of the man and begins to pour.

“You passin’ through?” she asks, intending to make small talk with the stranger.

The man sighs and begins his reply somewhat hesitantly.  “Yeah, I guess you could say that, Janice.”

At first Janice is taken aback, but then she smiles and blushes in embarrassment after the man says, “It’s on your nametag.”

She lets out a laugh as she places a set of silverware wrapped in a paper napkin in front of the man.

“And who do I have the pleasure of serving tonight?” she asks.

“I’m Roger,” he says, unwrapping the fork, spoon, and knife.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Roger.”

“Likewise.”

“Your food will be up in just a minute, hon,” she says as she looks him directly in the eyes.

Roger nods.  “Okay, Thanks.”

 

Janice approaches the other man at the end of the counter and places his check in front of him.  “How was everything, Bill?”

“Great, as usual,” he tells her as he leans forward and reaches for the wallet in his back pocket.

“Good,” she says in a drawn-out manner.

Out the corner of her eye she sees that Chris has gotten up from the booth and is heading toward the door.  “Bye, Chris,” she calls to him while taking Bill’s money.

Chris waves.  “See ya, Janice.”  The bell chimes on his way out.

She turns back to Bill.  “I’ll be right back with your change, hon.”

“You keep it, Janice.”

“Well, thank you, sweetheart.”

 

Roger watches all of these interactions taking place out the corner of his eye.  A few minutes later, after Bill has left, Janice is at Chris’ table collecting the payment that he left for her.  A bus boy bursts through the kitchen’s swinging door to clean up Chris’ booth and Bill’s counter space.

“Order up!” the cook yells and rings a bell as he places Roger’s food in the opening.  Janice stashes the money in her apron pocket and approaches the window.

“Here you go,” she tells Roger with a smile as she gently places the plate and bowl in front of him.

“Thank you.”  Roger smiles.

“So, you’re passin’ through, huh?  Where you headin’?” Janice asks as she lingers at the counter.

Roger politely does not start eating while Janice is still standing in front of him.  “I’m going to see my daughter,” he says, “I haven’t seen her in a very long time.”

“Really?  Why’s that?”

Roger pauses to think.  “Oh, it’s a long story.  I’m nervous though - I hope she wants to see me, too.”

“Well of course she will - a nice man like you?”

Roger blushes a little.  “Thanks,” he murmurs while looking down at his plate.

“I’m sorry, hon.  This is none of my business.  I’ll let you eat in peace now.”

“No, it’s okay.  I don’t mind you talking to me if you don’t mind me eating in front of you.”

Janice looks over her shoulder at the wall clock.  “I’ll tell you what - I’m due for my break.  If you don’t mind I’ll just grab a little somethin’ to eat and have a seat at the counter here with you.”

“Why, that’d be fine,” Roger says in a pleased tone.

Janice is only gone for a couple minutes and returns with a plate containing some variety of a cold cut sandwich and a single serving bag of potato chips.  The barstool next to Roger squeaks when she sits down on it and spins to turn toward the counter.

 

The sun outside has long since set.  Janice and Roger have been talking, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company for far longer than Janice’s boss would like.  He’s already walked past four times now and Janice is a bit nervous that he’s going to say something.  Good thing there aren’t many customers tonight.

 Eventually, her boss does call her away to the kitchen.  She stands and says to Roger, “I’m sorry, hon.  I gotta go.  But listen, it’s been a pleasure chattin’ with you.  Be safe out there and don’t be scared to visit your daughter again.  I’m sure she loves you and will be overjoyed that you came.”

“Thank you, Janice.  It’s been wonderful talking to you, too.”

They shake hands before Janice disappears into the kitchen.  Roger opens his wallet, leaves enough money on the countertop to cover the meal and a very generous tip, and slips out the door.  The bell tinkles, announcing his departure.

The bus boy comes from the back to clear off his place setting, and Janice is not far behind to collect the payment.  Her eyes widen when she sees the fifty dollar bill on top of his check.  She picks it up and finds something else underneath - a folded piece of yellow notebook paper.

“What’s that?” the bus boy asks.

“I - I don’t know,” she responds.

Janice unfolds the paper and begins reading, but quickly stops herself when her eyes begin to tear up.  She rushes to the bathroom and locks herself in the stall to continue reading.

 

Dearest Janice,

Words cannot express how much regret I have for not finding you sooner.  I wasn’t sure that you would even want to see me after all these years.  Believe me, I’ve wanted to see you again so badly, for so long now.

I don’t want to fill you with any animosity toward your mother.  After all, she raised you and I’m sure she did the best she could.  The thing that I want you to know is that when she scooped you up and left me in the middle of the night so long ago, she didn’t leave any trace of her (or your) whereabouts.  You were only two years old then.  I have been searching for almost twenty-five years now, and it wasn’t until recently that I learned that she’d changed her (and your) last names shortly after leaving me.  That information finally led me to you at the diner.

If you get nothing else from this letter, please know that I have never stopped loving you - I have never stopped searching for you.  The doctor says that I don’t have much time left.  Actually he says that I’m on borrowed time as it is.  My dying wish was to meet you and have a natural father and daughter chat.  If you’re reading this letter, then I have received that wish.  If so, I will not have revealed myself to you, for fear that it will not unfold pleasantly like I’ve envisioned in my head.  I just can’t risk it.  I want to enjoy each second with you with no pretensions or preconceived notions.  Soon I will be gone, but my love for you will be eternal.

Your loving father,

Roger

 

Janice struggles to contain her bawling.  The bathroom door cracks open and the bus boy calls inside, “Janice, you alright?”

She sniffles and attempts to compose herself.  “Yes,” she calls back.  And she knows that she truly is alright, finally knowing that her father did in fact love her all these years.

 

Janice wants to see her father again, but has no information to go on other than the name “Roger” in order to find him.  Three weeks later she sees his obituary in the paper.  She notes the time and place and vows to go see her father one last time.

Reviews

[Shannon]

Well written and descriptive. I thoroughly enjoyed this one. The setting is so universal, yet you gave us the specifics, so we know it happened in that particular place. We also got to know much about Janice and her personality through her interactions.

I have two suggestions (all suggestions are only that, suggestions):
The description under the title gives away too much "A stop at a desert diner" might work better. As soon as he says he is going to see his daughter, its clear whats happening. Without the heartwarming, it may take us a few minutes longer.

The end is not as powerful as the piece. It could either be more succinct or shorter.

[moonlit_cove]

Thank you four your kind review, S Mi! I appreciate it. I definitely agree with your suggestions, and a re-working may be coming soon. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Jacob Clifford]

"Heartwarming encounter" indeed. This is a wonderful story. The twist caught me by surprise. You did a good job at establishing a realistic and believable environment, and the characters were likable and lifelike.
There were only a couple things that seemed off to me. The conversation between Janice and Roger is largely omitted, and I feel their conversation is the most important part of the story. I understand not wanting to include the entire talk, but perhaps including just a bit after Janice sits down at the counter would help set the tone. Additionally, the last two paragraphs felt very brief and rushed. I like that you included Janice's reaction, but there wasn't enough time to properly support it. If anything, I think the ending would be stronger if the story ended with Roger's letter.

[moonlit_cove]

Thank you for your review, Clifford! I appreciate the kind words and the feedback. You make very good points! I may revisit this one and tweak it a bit in the future. Thanks for reading and commenting.